My (40f) boyfriend (48m) told me this is the last holiday he's spending with me. But thinks we should still do something for New Year's Eve because it's the same holiday season.

EDIT TO ADD QUESTION: Is it possible (to you, dear readers) that he's just being manipulative here and hoping we will still stay together but saying he won't spend another holidays with me because he wants me to grovel? I've only been "difficult" with him because I refuse to capitulate to his demands due to the boundaries I put in place. He doesn't seem to recognize that he has a high drama personality type.

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I'm so confused and annoyed. With him for 5 years. We've always had our fair share of issues, but this past year has been more difficult than most.

His dad passed away last year and he started acting out....he was drinking a lot and he met up with MY female cousin (very long story, but she didn't do anything wrong) and basically made a pass at her (and she told me immediately).

We've had a lot of issues since then (I mean more than before). Lots of trust issues. Plus I just feel less inclined to deal with his rather difficult personality (he tends to cause drama a lot with a lot of people, including me, over very little). Because I'm more willing to call him on his nonsense (and just not bother seeing him when he's acting like a jerk) he thinks I "make things worse".

This behaviour has been ramping up over the fall. He's always been very difficult during holiday seasons. Or vacations. Or any type of stress. Or any project. He just tends to have a high drama personality in general. I know it may sound like I don't like him, but I actually love him...I'm just getting weary of all his drama and tend to remove myself now when he acts up.

I had certain boundaries for this holiday season (because I know what he's like). For one thing, I would HELP him decorate but I would not take charge of all the decorating (because my efforts have never made him happy in the past and I'm tired of being criticized...he's very controlling and I don't feel like dealing with it...I just want a peaceful, calm holiday). Well, he ignored that entirely and the exact same thing that always happens happened again...with him feeling I didn't "do enough". Amongst other annoying complaints and demands (such as asking me Christmas Eve what I bought for him to give to his mother....when I reminded him of what we bought days ago he insisted it wasn't enough. Well, it cost $150, which is enough considering we are both currently furloughed, and he didn't tell me that he wanted to give her more. It's stuff like that.

I stuck to my boundaries this year and wouldn't bend for him. I made them clear ahead of time and while I helped (a lot) I wouldn't give in to his demands (such as telling me I need to stand in line on Christmas Eve to get a light-up star for the top of the tree because the one I bought didn't light up....and EVERYONE has a light-up star apparently). He interpreted my boundaries as me being a miserable ****.

Now, he's telling me he will never spend another holiday with me again. Not Valentine's Day. Not Easter. Not his birthday. Not Thanksgiving. Not Halloween. And definitely not next Christmas. I am interpreting this as him breaking up with me....he's not actually addressing that exactly....just saying I'm so miserable and I ruin all his holidays (which to me is crazy because I think HE ruins his own holidays).

I said that's fine, but then I think we should go no contact. He's upset and surprised....he thinks we should wait until after New Year's Eve.

What the hell is going on? Does it sound like he's playing games? He can't seriously be asking me to wait until the first day of 2021 to break up??

tldr: he has told me several times over the past 3 days that he won't spend another holiday with me....but that goes into effect after New Year's Eve. What the hell?

Submitted December 26, 2020 at 03:13PM by Kindly_Resolution574 https://ift.tt/3rvvcJp