Hey Reddit!
So my boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months and we have a really good relationship. However, I have an issue that really bothers me from time to time.
I’m extremely jealous of his ex girlfriends and hook-ups. I hate the thought of another girl having slept in his bed, met his parents, travelled with him, exchanged “I love you“s with him etc. Sometimes when we’re doing something (could be anything really - e.g. outdoor activities, a movie, or something sexual) I can’t help but wonder if he’s done it with another girl before. I get a sinking feeling in my chest thinking about these things.
The thing is, I know how absurd and irrational it is. When I think about it logically, I KNOW I have no reason to be upset. I know it’s all in the past, before we even knew each other. It’s like I’m caught in a cage of my own thoughts. I’ve always been extremely insecure and have always struggled with anxiety so I think that‘s where it’s coming from. I’m aware it’s my own personal issue that has nothing to do with him or anyone else. The fact that he has a lot more experience than me is probably another factor.
It’s not like I‘m letting any of it show, though. Sure, he knows I struggle with insecurities (one time I got pretty jealous of a female friend of his. It wasn’t without reason though, he’d made a stupid joke that bothered me. We had a conversation about it and resolved the issue. In that conversation, I explained to him that I tend to get insecure at times even though logically, I know my thoughts are baseless. He was really understanding and sweet about it). I don‘t want to let him know how bad it can really get, though. I feel it makes no sense to tell him about it cause there‘s nothing that he could change about the past anyway. I don’t want to burden him with this completely irrational issue of mine.
Does anyone have advice? The fact that I technically know how unlogical all of this is and just how little sense it makes, but that I still can’t grasp it, is so infuriating. I wish there was a way to make it “click” in my head.
(English isn’t my first language so I‘m sorry about any mistakes. Thank you!)
TL;DR: I struggle with strong feelings of jealousy regarding my boyfriend‘s past relationships and hook-ups. I‘m aware of how completely irrational these feelings and thoughts are, but can’t seem to make them stop. Any advice?
Submitted December 27, 2020 at 06:27PM by milllionstars https://ift.tt/2JnLdzS
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