Hi everyone. I’ve(26F) been friends with this guy(30M) for a few years - there’s always been attraction there, but we both denied it. Recently, we admitted how we felt. It felt good.
Now, though, I’m second guessing. I feel mighty uncomfortable. It’s triggering my mental health. He’s a lovely man, capable, loyal, dedicated to understanding me. But his love language is physical affection (I hate that), and constant “i miss you” and if I respond and say “i miss you too”, he begins a “miss you more” contest. Truth is, I don’t miss anyone. They’re there. I can text, call. Whatever. I only miss people when they’re gone for a while, I haven’t spoken to them in a few months or dead.
Basically, our friendship was incredible. Now we’re in a “relationship”, I feel mucky. Gross. I hate it and I want out. He hasn’t done anything wrong, but we’re not compatible sexually or even in our love languages.
I tried to break up with him twice, but both times resulted in 4 hour conversations and him convincing me why it’s worth staying.
I spent a decade in domestic violence (have been out of violence for 2 years), but I do believe this is why I don’t have the strength to leave. I don’t like the fact he’s convinced me so heavily and deeply that it’s good for us. It isn’t. It’s good for him, and deadly for me.
Being single is super important to my mental health. He knew this before we got together, I’ve communicated the whole way through that our relationship is MURDERING my mental health. That it’s not his fault, he’s a brilliant person. But the expectations of relationships are too much.
I want to end it. I do not want to be convinced to stay. I want out for my own safety. If I don’t, my brain will turn against me and I will suffer for it.
Please help. How do I stop him from convincing me?
TL;DR: I want to end this relationship but my boyfriend spends hours convincing me that it’s good for us. It is not. I am easily persuaded, and I need this to stop.
Submitted December 27, 2020 at 05:39AM by iam-paigewolf https://ift.tt/38HmKOy
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