My (40M) wife (39F) blames me for 'giving our family' Covid, when she was taking way less precautions than I was. She is furious at me, and has her entire family convinced I am the one who spread it to them, not her.

So my wife goes to work at her job, while I mostly work at home and watch the kids. I have told her, time and time again, she is gonna get covid from her job. She didn't need to work, she just wanted to work to keep herself busy. Not only that but she has her parents (in their 60s) over, as well as her sisters family. She flips out at me constantly for having some friends in the backyard, but that is the backyard. The risk of transmission is dramatically lower outdoors, not only that but we are pretty distanced and wear masks. She has her parents and sisters family over INDOORS. When I tell her this, she doesn't listen, I've shown her study after study and paper after paper and she just doesn't really listen. She thinks somehow me having two friends in the backyard is somehow more risky than her having like 5 people over indoors at once, just because the people are family? Every time they come over, I have to go downstairs and open windows and put the fans on and tell them to wear masks.

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Anyways, we didn't argue about this THAT much. But my basic point is, she did a lot more risky stuff than I did. We ended up getting Covid. The day we got tested was the day before thanksgiving. She had a cough, so she asked us all to get tested. We all came back positive. Our 3 kids, us, and soon after her parents and her sister (sisters husband and kids escaped it somehow). Now, I had my two friends in the backyard 3 days beforehand. My wife was absolutely positive that it was them who spread it to me who spread it to everyone else. I asked them to get tested and they were fine. I thought it would be obvious at that point that they didn't spread it to us, and that her family or her work did, and that would be that. I was not going to shove it in her face the way she was with me. But she really just had it DEADSET that it was the friends, she refused to listen to reason. She literally told her family that it was me taking 'unnecessary risks by having friends over' that got everybody infected. Eventually, her dad got very sick and had to be hospitalized, and her sister also got very sick (not hospitalized though), and she seemingly has some form of lung damage in that she still has difficulty breathing and has fatigue. Nobody died but neither her dad or sister are really fully recovered this far out. Everyone else was fine. During this time, its just been... so difficult to deal with this, not only her family getting sick but her blaming me and seemingly refusing to listen to reason when I explain to her why her accusations are wrong. I don't want to be like "YOU DID THIS, NOT ME" or sound too defensive but holy shit, I feel like she is trying to make me out to be the sole reason for this, like a monster.

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I am not sure if she... knows that she was likely responsible, but just cant handle it and is taking it out on me, or if she genuinely believes it was me and that she did nothing wrong. When I talked to my doctor about this, he laughed at the idea that somehow she wasn't the one who brought it home when she was having indoor gatherings and going to work. Like it feels PRETTY obvious, right?

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What am I supposed to do? Its not only her, its also her family now who think I was the one being reckless and irresponsible, not her. She has never really been like this, but we've also never had such... problems emerge like this either.

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TL;DR - - wife blames me for bringing covid to the house when she was taking way, way less precautions than me.

Submitted December 27, 2020 at 05:34PM by pepperandspice64 https://ift.tt/3hnNt71