Growing up, my dad was a serial cheater and I hated him for it. I got in really toxic relationships because of it (unintentionally of course) but that all changed when my sister met her husband. He was the first male who I ever genuinely respected and thought was incredible. He encouraged and inspired me to seek out meaningful relationships and to settle down when I was TERRIFIED of marriage and wrote it off entirely. A few days ago, my husband told me that he was cheating on my sister and has been cheating their whole relationship and even got another woman pregnant (which supposedly my sister knew of, but she doesn’t know that he is currently cheating again) and I have been so fucked up since I found this out. For reference- my sister met my brother when I was 14, so hes been my most cherished male figure for over ten years. This has been a HUGE heartbreak for me. For some reason, it’s completely fucking up my marriage. It has given me even worse trust issues, and now I panic 24/7 thinking that all the men I’ve looked up to have cheated and it’s only a matter of time before my husband does. I can tell that it’s wrecking my relationship and I genuinely don’t know how to stop it? I’m up my husbands ass 24/7 now, and Although I genuinely know he would never cheat on me I have to talk myself down every hour of every day lately! I’m seeing a therapist (and have for years because I’m aware of my childhood trauma and how it wreaks havoc on my life)but when I’m not in the therapy session I’m panicking lol and I know I can’t be in therapy 24/7. I just don’t know why I’m so anxious and paranoid all the time. Does anyone have any advice for me? I really don’t want to punish my husband for other men’s mistakes, but I feel like that’s what I’m doing. I honestly thought about jumping ship and running away to split up with my husband before he could do something wrong. I have no idea what is wrong with me but this new information is really wreaking havoc on everything.
TLDR; found out all the men in my life who I’ve looked up to have cheated and it’s making me paranoid about my current relationship.
Edit: added details
Submitted December 26, 2020 at 04:28PM by False-Ad-3367 https://ift.tt/3nSCvZA
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