My husband and I have been together for 10 years. Yes, we are each other's first and only relationship. And yes, we have always had different hobbies and interests. I enjoy books, crafts, cooking, following sports, and music (I work in healthcare). My husband likes video games, anime, and programming (programming is also his job). Video games make me nauseous and he hasn't read a book since twelfth grade, to give you an idea of how opposite we are. On a given weekend, for example, we spend mealtimes together, maybe we'll watch a movie or talk over cups of coffee, but most of the day we spend pursuing our separate hobbies. My husband can spend an entire weekend on the computer without thinking. I'll dabble between several hobbies and pursuits. We like to say that we're on opposite ends of the ADHD spectrum, with me having to dabble in several hobbies for a short amount of time each, while he's prone to hyperfocus and forgets the world around him.
Anyway, for years this has worked fine, but a few months ago this was kind of shaken up. In my department I often have rotating students for a few weeks, usually young female students. I had one student recently that was closer to my age and male, and during the workday we'd have conversations about interests and hobbies. He shared several of my interests and I developed a crush on him. Fine on its own, crushes come and go, and the student has since stopped rotating with me and I'll likely never see him again.
However, I find myself getting annoyed with my husband much more frequently. I'm irked by the fact that he spends all day on the computer. I'm irked by the fact that he's never heard of the musicians I like, much less ever heard their music. I'm irked by the sounds of his anime shows to the point where I'm constantly reminding him to wear headphones, or I sit in another room with the door shut. To be honest I've never loved his hobbies but I always figured I don't have to like them, they're not up to my approval, they're for his enjoyment. But now I find myself wondering, wouldn't it be nice to have a partner that liked to read? That didn't play video games? That didn't spend all day on the computer?
I've been working at focusing on the positives about my husband, but these feelings I have are starting to sink in and sometimes outweigh his many positives. Any advice for me on reframing my mindset?
tl;dr developed crush on colleague, now comparing him to husband and need to refocus
Submitted December 26, 2020 at 12:07PM by Some-Celebration-532 https://ift.tt/3hj72xd
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