We’ve been together for 5 years, but only have lived together for 2. It seems like if I say something, he remembers it and holds it against me/defines me by what I said.
One example of this is one time I said I didn’t want to buy hot dogs at a food truck because I felt like I could make a good one at home. I didn’t explicitly say this, but at the time I was trying to save money.
Almost a year later, I said “hey we should get hot dogs at a food truck.” And he was like “whaaydhssjsh but I thought you never wanted to do that because of that one time?!”
Maybe the way I worded it implies that I would never get a hot dog out ever again, but I feel like the average person would be able to figure out that I might want to do it in the future.
Another example: Covid grocery shopping has been really stressful for me. I express this pretty regularly at the store (sometimes I have to step away for a minute or just go to a part of the store that isn’t crowded) but before covid, I didn’t have the levels of anxiety I have now. Now he brings it up like it’s a part of my personality. “Oh she hates shopping at the grocery store.” (But I don’t. I hate covid.)
This doesn’t happen with absolutely everything, but it does happen enough to be an issue. The problem is correcting him later when he decides he knows who I am/defines who I am because I once said “I don’t want to go to the park” but that somehow means I hate the park and would never want to go. “But you NEVER go to the park!?” I kind of feel like I’m never allowed to change my mind without hearing about it.
Do you guys think this is normal? Am I abnormal for expecting him to understand? Am I being the wiener here?
TLDR: my bf assigns me personality traits by taking things I say literally, even when it’s clear imo I’m saying something out of emotion in the moment.
Submitted December 29, 2020 at 01:19PM by anonympushovr https://ift.tt/2L2ksBx
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