Was it wrong to break up with my [28F] bf so I don’t have to take care of him [34M] in sickness?

Please do not post outside of Reddit.

Okay, so a bit of background about me. I’m the youngest child and, in my culture, the youngest is usually the one who ends up taking care of the ageing parents. The elder siblings go out and get married and the role falls automatically to us.

My father was sick. He was bedridden and I helped take care of him for almost a decade. It was me and my mom since my siblings all lived on their own or moved abroad. After my dad passed, I took care of my mom who started having dementia.

I’m 28F now and I don’t have savings because it all goes, or went, to them. My partner knows my history. I have often cried because I am tired or sad I never got the chance my siblings did.

However, he has gotten sick too. It causes chronic pain and he can’t find work he likes because of it. Let me clarify that he has not had a job for four years and he started getting sick just at the end of last year. He also borrows large amounts from me from the savings I’m just starting to get together. He prefers to work in the field but can’t because he can’t walk or be in a car for long amounts of time. He won’t look for work he thinks is beneath him or does not interest him, work that would let him earn money from home. When he takes on odd jobs, I do the work. He presents it as his own.

I work very hard. I have had to.

I want to travel. I want to have adventures I never got to. I want to be with a partner who understands money as stability and has drive and goals. If I can’t have that, I would be fine on my own.

In contrast, he always says money is not important because it will come. He tells me no one would want to get sick, which is really true. I am terrified of being a caretaker for all my life.

I broke up with him because of this and my friend told me it’s a heartless thing to do. I would be uniquely equipped to understand and support him in his sickness if I wanted to. He wants to get back together.

TL;DR: I was a caretaker for my sick parents and I left my bf because I’m afraid of being one again. Am I a bad person because I feel I might be using my trauma to be one.

Submitted December 30, 2020 at 07:10AM by averyfamoustvshow90 https://ift.tt/34Zi9GG