Does it seem like my dad is pushing my brother and I out of his “new” life?

Does it seem like my dad is pushing my brother and I out of his “new” life? Sorry if this isn’t the right sub for this.

TL;DR : had christmas with my dad and girlfriend with her sons. felt extremely left out and it seems intentional but i’m not entirely sure if i’m just being overly sensitive or not. he comes off as liking his new “family” better than his actual one. was ignored most of the night and left out of photos.

For background information, my mom and dad divorced when I was a freshman in high school six years ago. My mom has since remarried to a family friend we had growing up and my dad has had two serious girlfriends since then. My (18)brother still lives with my dad and I(19f) moved out last year.

My dad’s girlfriend, let’s call her J, moved in a while ago. I don’t remember exactly when because they’re so on and off and she was constantly moving out whenever they fought. She has literally started to redo/redecorate the entire house and is beginning to make it her own. So she’s here to stay now I guess.

She has two sons, 1 is 20 and 2 is 25. 1 has just joined the army. 2 has a girlfriend and a baby. She’s pregnant again. They all came over for Christmas yesterday. I like 2 the most because he actually acknowledges me and will talk to me.

I didn’t really want to celebrate with everybody because I’m kind of quiet and don’t like a lot of noise or stuff going on all at once, but I felt obligated to show up because they got me a few things.

So, anyways. There were a few situations that stuck out to me and made me anxious that my dad is starting to completely assimilate into his new family while leaving us behind.

1) When we were all opening gifts, any time I tried to talk, I was ignored. It was getting really fucking annoying because I was trying to say thank you for things but nobody was listening to me. Also, nobody said thank you to me for the things I got them. I literally had to starve myself for two months to afford Christmas gifts for everybody and not one word of thanks came out of anybody’s mouths.

2) When everyone settled down my dad would only talk to 1 and 2. Ask them about their lives, their new jobs, try to relate to them with internet stuff. My dad never tried to get to know my brother and I, and when he did he would make fun of our interests. We learned to shut down after that. But it’s clear 1 and 2 are the kids he never got to have. Athletic, outgoing, etc.

That was nothing new, but the fact that I’m starting to blend more and more into the background worries me.

1. They decided to take family pictures. They started off with everybody but my brother and I. I don’t know if it’s because I wasn’t as dressed up as them or what, but I was left out of their photos along with my brother. They took photos for twenty minutes in front of us. When we stood up to join in, J told us to wait and sit back down. Then she took one picture of us with my dad that took ten seconds and that was the end of it.

I felt really bad. I felt really left out. I was really upset because it was just so rude.

1. Nobody talked to us at dinner unless if it was to pass some food around the table.

2. Further into the evening my dad said out of the blue, “Hey (brother’s name), your grandmother in Iowa said you can move up there with her.” IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Any time he speaks to my sibling it’s always about a job, or going to trade school, or moving out. Basically just getting the fuck out of the house. He got laid off from his job due to the pandemic and I helped him get a new one at my old company. He just graduated this year. And my dad is so ready to get rid of him. He always hounds on him about this shit.

I asked my dad why she said that and he said it’s to straighten him out and teach him about life. My brother isn’t a bad kid. He’s always been a little behind other people his age so obviously he isn’t ready to be thrown out into the real world yet.

Understandably, my brother said hell no (bc grandma is crazy and we live in GEORGIA. Iowa is away from everyone and everything) and my dad muttered some shit in an angry voice under his breath.

I left soon after that because I was uncomfortable with the situation and just wanted to go home.

Am I just freaking out? Am I just being jealous? What does this situation seem like to you? I need outsider insight so I can know if I’m being crazy about this or not. Has anyone experienced this before and how did you cope with it?

Submitted December 26, 2020 at 04:02AM by throwaway1847372748 https://ift.tt/3nQZMLo