My [27F] BF [26M] isn’t a curious person and our conversations are boring. Is our relationship doomed?

My [27F] BF [26M] is not a curious person and rarely asks me questions about myself or my thoughts on things. I feel we lack a connection.

My boyfriend is very kind and gentle and sweet and loving and affectionate. Our sexual chemistry is great too and we argue really well, calmly resolve issues together.

But I’m bored. We do not have very stimulating/deep convos. I am a very curious person by nature, and he is not. I ask him a lot of questions and he doesn’t really ask me any besides the how was your day, how was work, how are you feeling etc. I feel like he doesn’t make an effort to know me. We’ve been together since March. It kind of hurts because it makes me feel like he doesn’t care even though that’s just his nature - he isn’t a very curious person.

He relies on me to volunteer info, but I am more of a listener and have trouble talking about myself, especially if there are no follow-up questions from him.

I’ll try to drop convo starters to help him get to know me, such as “xyz was a life changing time for me” or “you still haven’t seen my artwork gasp it’s sitting in my closet” ... he’ll smile but won’t follow up and ask me to show my art to him, or won’t ask why that was a life changing time. But he did get me a watercolor kit for Christmas. It’s interesting because he pays attention to what I do and what I like, he just doesn’t seem to want to know anything about it or go deeper. I write a lot for work and he isn’t interested in what I’m writing about or read anything I write unless I ask him to or ask his opinion. When I bring something up he listens but doesn’t really ask more questions. Meanwhile when he’s talking about his hobbies or activities I’ll ask more Qs because I genuinely want to know because I care. When he’s reading a book I’ll ask what it’s about. When I’m reading a book he doesn’t bother to ask what I’m reading.

I talked with him about it, and asked him one day how he gets to know people. He said “time and experiences.” I started thinking maybe he doesn’t find me interesting. But that isn’t the case because I asked if he found me interesting or boring, he said of course he finds me interesting otherwise he wouldn’t be with me.

I asked him if he could try and he’s been making an effort to ask more questions/get to know me better but they’re very superficial because he seems to have to try really hard to think of things to ask.

We enjoy doing things together like cooking, camping, hiking, watching shows, walking ... we just don’t talk much, even when we camp having those long hours together. We love being in each other’s presence but I just feel alone sometimes and unfulfilled, because that’s how I connect with people - conversation.

Has anyone been in this situation before? Is our relationship doomed?

TLDR; My BF is not curious and it makes me feel like we don’t have a connection. We’ve been together nine months.

Submitted December 28, 2020 at 05:21PM by youfloozyoulose https://ift.tt/34Qhc3c