TLDR: need suggestions on how to cope with big differences in how we view Christmas/gift giving, without hurting my partner’s feelings further (we have been together just over 3 years).
Does anyone have any killer methods of remaining strong and mildly cheerful when it feels like the tiniest things are the world’s biggest problems?
I’m struggling this year with differences in my and my partner’s expectations for Christmas combined with my mental health. I love Christmas, my partner thinks it’s a bit stupid. I’m feeling lonely in a foreign country, and my partner is tolerating my Christmas things but not partaking and refuses to buy gifts that I haven’t specifically asked for. (And even if I ask for something, he sometimes won’t buy it even then)...
I decorated our apartment for Christmas, and I spent money that I think my partner feels was a bit too much. My partner is not a gift giver, he complains about gift giving and receiving. This year, I bought two (fairly small) Christmas stockings, and I asked my partner if he could find some small things to put in there for me so I would have something as a surprise on Christmas Day. He hasn’t.... I have bought him a handful of small-ish gifts, and now I feel so awkward... i don’t want to make him feel bad when he hasn’t got me anything by wrapping them and putting them under the tree :( I asked him what I should do, and he said I should wrap them for him.
I suspect that I’m not good at compromising? I suffer from impulsive honesty, and I feel like I need to always talk things through/combat them immediately, whereas my partner takes days to talk about something he’s upset about. He has tolerated everything Christmassy so far, I just can’t stop wanting more :(
I really think the problem is me. I’m struggling a lot with my mental health and I finally got referred to a psychologist but they keep cancelling my appointments before I’ve even been. I really need help on suggestions on how not to drive a huge wedge between myself and my partner over this, it’s not important. I’ve sent him to visit his parents so I can have some time where I’m not afraid I’m going to ruin everything.
My stupid-anxious-awkward heart feels like before he gets back, I should throw the Christmas tree and all decorations in the trash and put the Christmas stockings somewhere where I’ll never be reminded ever again of my (painfully embarrassing/awkward) attempt to encourage my partner to partake in gift giving. My brain knows this will might him feel bad, so I shouldn’t do it.
Are there any other things I can do to try and survive the next few days? Sorry for the long rant....
TLDR: need suggestions on how to cope with big differences in how we view Christmas/gift giving, without hurting my partner’s feelings further.
Submitted December 23, 2020 at 05:29AM by VitSea4me https://ift.tt/3aBISwp
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