My (48M) daughter (23) wants me to pick between her and her sister (16F)

My (48M) daughter (23) wants me to pick between her and her sister (16F)

10 years ago I adopted a little girl called Shelby.

Shelby was born with FASDs, she suffers from behavioural problems as well as intellectual difficulties; she has poor memory and frequently becomes hyper.

My eldest daughter never got along with Shelby I think it’s because Shelby requires more attention but recently my daughter gave birth and I’ve been trying to improve my relationship with her and trying to be involved in my grandsons life.

Shelby had a behavioural incident earlier when my eldest daughter was visiting with her son, I managed to settle Shelby down and she went to bed and when I got downstairs my daughter started to ask about who would care for Shelby when I passed and asked about her behaviour etc...

She openly said she would not feel comfortable with her son around Shelby and doesn’t think she’ll continue a relationship if I continue caring for Shelby because she believes Shelby needs more care and that I stress myself out and it hurts to see.

I asked her to leave and genuinely can not believe she would ask this from me, my wife the mother of both of our daughters believes our eldest is just coming from a place of concern and believes we should take our daughters words into consideration* but quite frankly I believe my daughter is being spiteful by using her son as leverage, Shelby has never hurt anyone and in any case I’d never leave her alone with my grandson but at the same time I don’t want to cut my eldest and her son off?

TL;DR; My (48M) daughter (23) wants me to pick between her and her sister (16F)

Submitted July 23, 2020 at 02:39PM by ThrowRA1-01 https://ift.tt/2CANUee