I have been friends with her for a very long time (over a decade). I am an extrovert and I do not have a hard time expressing myself and she is the direct opposite. I tend to be blunt but I usually try to be mindful of hurting other people which she knows. However, knowing that I never mean harm she has taken that to mean that she shouldn't call me out when I offend/hurt her feelings. She mentioned that I take jabs at her but she takes them as "jokes" so it's okay.
The problem is I do not take jabs at her -- at least not intentionally. But now she won't tell me what I am doing that is causing her harm and thus I cannot correct my behavior. When I tried to get examples she tried to gaslight me and say that "I misheard and that I am overreacting like usual." But she said it four different times in our conversation, I even wrote it down because I figured she'd panic.
The reason I knew she would panic is that I am quick to cut people out of my life who cause me harm. I have told her that calling me out is not causing me harm and would only make our friendship better. She's scared I'll stop talking to her or be friends with her. I still do not understand why she is so adamant about brushing my behavior to preserve our friendship. She just wants to pretend like nothing is wrong...
I am having a hard time talking to her now because I do not know what I am saying or doing. I am also frustrated that she refuses to tell me what I am doing wrong even though she brought it up four times... I am also frustrated that she tried to gaslight me in order to make the conversation go away.
I am not sure how to proceed or how to make sense of all of it...
TL;DR : Friend says I am taking jabs at her but will not tell me what they are and does not want to talk about it because she thinks I will stop being her friend.
Submitted July 18, 2020 at 02:06PM by RecommendingGrowth https://ift.tt/2ZIbBtH
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