Throwaway for obvious reasons. My [23F] sister [25F] is getting married to her boyfriend [28M] of two years in about a month. I am the matron of honor in her wedding, as I married my own husband [30M] a little over a year ago. My sister and her fiancé live about a 10-hour drive or short plane flight away from my immediate family. All of her events have been local to her, except for the bachelor/bachelorette weekend which I hosted in our hometown.
Background info that seems irrelevant but is actually material to the story: up until last month, I had chest-length blonde hair. I ended up getting a short haircut to my chin that I thought wasn’t terribly radical—basically, the least edgy short haircut a woman can have. I received very positive feedback about this haircut from everyone, including from my sister.
My sister said she’d like to have her and her fiancé’s bachelor/bachelorette weekend in our hometown, as we live in a culturally eclectic area with a vibrant nightlife. The plan was for her bridesmaids and his groomsmen to have a joint outing on Saturday morning, and then split up later to have girls/guys-only outings. She’d voiced a desire to have crawfish and go on a swamp tour as our joint outing, to introduce the bridal party to the local culture. Because my husband’s family is very experienced with boiling crawfish and I knew of a swamp tour convenient to my house, my husband and I really spearheaded planning the weekend for them and decided to host a boil at my parents’ home. We arranged for the swamp tour, decorated and prepared the house for the boil party, and boiled 175 lbs of crawfish (no small undertaking). All members of the bridal party sent us equal shares of money to help us cover these costs. My husband also drove everyone who had flown in from their hotel an hour away.
Admittedly, we were an hour later than projected bringing the crawfish to the boil party, but everyone still had ample time to eat before we went to the swamp tour. We’d been drinking all morning and brought alcoholic drinks on the boat. I’d mentioned my hair was acting crazy because of the winds from the boat ride, and she offered me a hair tie. I reminded her I couldn’t really tie up my hair anymore, as it was too short. She then replied to me, “oh, that’s right, I forgot you’d cut your hair,” before turning to her friends and mumbling something private, which was met with snickers. My husband and brother had overheard what she’d said—that I’d cut my hair right before her wedding, without permission from her—and relayed it to me. I was pretty offended, because she’d acted like she’d really liked my hair prior to this, and also because I felt it was my choice to do whatever I’d like with my hair, but I didn’t say anything.
After the tour had ended, my husband and I returned to my parents’ house before starting the girls-only night, but I was obviously feeling dejected because my sister and her friends (who I was supposed to party with that night) had been laughing at me. I mentioned the incident to my mom, who told me that she’d overheard my sister making some unkind comments to the other bridesmaids earlier that day about our tardiness with the crawfish and my own wedding (which was an intimate, family-only affair at an Airbnb) not being a big deal like hers will be. Again, despite hearing these comments, I was still intending to be present for the festivities later that night, although begrudgingly. I went to go shower and do my makeup. While I was thus occupied, my mom (who’d had a bit to drink) texted my sister against my express wishes, saying that she hopes my sister appreciates all I’d done for her. My sister ended up calling me minutes later to figure out what all had been said, and I basically laid my feelings out for her. We ended up having a pretty heated argument on the phone—she ended up calling me a bitch, and I reminded her she hadn’t gone to the same lengths for my wedding—and she hung up on me. After that argument, my husband and I skipped the festivities to spend the night at my parents’ house.
The next morning, my brother told me that my sister had posted several passive-aggressive things on social media clearly aimed at me. He decided to call my sister and see how her night had gone, putting her on speaker phone for me and my husband to hear. My sister claimed she’d never said anything negative about me in the first place, and that my mom was manipulating the story. My brother mentioned he’d overheard her say she didn’t approve of my haircut on the boat ride, and she admitted that she didn’t like my hair and it didn’t align with her “wedding vision.” She also said that her fiancé had actually made fun of me as well by saying I look like a boy. An hour or so after this phone conversation was over, she called my brother back to tell him everyone in my immediate family was uninvited from the wedding for not being more supportive.
Since that day, she and her fiancé have claimed we were never uninvited from the wedding and have attempted to contact me and my husband to apparently smooth things over, but I’m pretty upset that I was apparently a huge joke to not only my sister and my fellow bridesmaids, but also my brother-in-law-to-be. I have decided to skip the bridal shower a week from now (I will be mailing her the personalized gifts I bought them), although I will probably attend the wedding in a month. That being said, I’m not sure I’m comfortable being in the bridal party anymore and am considering dropping out.
TL;DR: my sister gossiped about my appearance at a party I’d thrown her, which ruined the bachelorette party and is making me seriously consider dropping out of the wedding
Submitted March 06, 2020 at 04:32PM by throwaway172738 https://ift.tt/38s1ni9
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