Throwaway for obvious reasons.
Not sure where else to go, or even if there’s a way to go.
There’s a TL;DR at the bottom so please feel free to skip.
I [26M] have been married to my wife [27F] for 2 years. We just had our 2nd anniversary. We’ve been together for 8 years total now.
Since day 1, there’s been an issue between myself and her family. Specifically, two people. Her mother [45f] and her grandmother [65f]. While there’s a lot of backstory, here’s the tidbits that matter.
My wife was raised essentially to serve the mother and grandmother. While growing up, she wasn’t “allowed” to date, or to go out with friends or do anything that kids or teenagers do. Her siblings did, but not her. She was to stay home and take care of the house and family. A real life Cinderella if that makes any sense.
Her mother and grandmother both hate me to pieces. When we first started dating, her grandmother had to “allow” her to date. She was 20, I was 19. Both adults. The crux of the issues comes from the idea that I’m “stealing” her. In my own opinion, they’re more upset that they’re losing a slave. But to this day, she’s responsible for all the cooking, cleaning and caretaking of the grandmother, who is not at all appreciative of what’s happening. Her mother moved a few hundred miles away and calls every once in a while to berate my wife for marrying me and for not living the life they’ve laid out for her. They call her horrible names, constantly mock her about her shortcomings and demean her in front of absolute strangers. When my mother in law first met my mother, my mother had to leave the room before she did something she was going to regret. My MIL decided to tell my mother how dumb, fat and useless my wife is essentially to a complete stranger. My mother loves my wife, my father does too and they were both incredibly saddened and in a rage when they heard what my MIL was saying. Her grandmother does the same thing on occasion. But she’s less making fun of her and just likes to find things to complain about and then make problems where none exist.
All of this is background for the main issue. My wife simply tries to appease them to ensure they stop harassing her. They don’t stop, their manipulative, evil people. They know what they’re doing. We don’t talk to each other, because I’ve said many choice words over the years to them both for how they treat her, but they know my wife will always come running back the moment they start to cry and beg for her to come back.
So. 2 years in to our marriage, I see my wife on the occasional weekend. We aren’t separated. She simply lives with her grandmother instead of me. If we’re lucky, her grandmother will “allow” my wife to come see me for the weekend. Sometimes not. This week in particular we were supposed to have a date night Yesterday. I was going to rent a fun movie, I got all the fixings for her to not be “allowed” back.
We’ve had several conversations and even more arguments over the issue. We want to have a family, hard to have one because it takes two to make a child. We want to buy a house, but every house has to have space for the grandmother and every consideration has to be made for her.
We want to travel, but can’t because that would mean spending more than a whole weekend away from the grandmother. If these requirements aren’t met, my wife can expect verbal lashings.
Like I said, many arguments, many discussions. I’m at the end of my rope. The only way for this to end is for the grandmother to die. Since the mother isn’t here. Part of me feels bad, I truly wished that she would get this Corona virus and just die, just leave us alone so we can finally live our lives. We’re getting to a point in our life where we simply won’t be able to have kids or travel or even just be together.
My wife is truly too good for me. She’s sweet, caring and loving. I try to spoil her so when she comes over, there’s nothing to cook or clean. I do all of that. I want her to just sit down, relax and play Animal Crossing. She’s truly a good, honest woman and she makes me happy.
By the time her grandmother finally croaks naturally, we’ll be in our 40’s. She’s still “healthy”. She moves around no problem. I simply cannot wait and give up a family because of her. I do feel bad for wishing her death, but she’s stealing our life.
I don’t know what to do, the wife is too afraid to do anything. Part of me is wants to just get on a plane and disappear somewhere they’ll never find us.
I don’t want to leave my wife. It’s simply cruel to leave her to her fate. She’ll spend her entire life, caring for these horrible woman, only for them to die and leave her with nothing. She has a lot of issues stemming from them. She’s riddled with anxiety and depression and other disorders and there’s just nothing I can do to help. Everything we’ve done from counseling to even therapy suggestions get mocked and she gets harassed for even considering them.
TL;DR MIL and Grandmother brainwashed wife in to being a servant, berate and harass her constantly and force her to stay home with the Grandmother. I only get to see my wife on the weekends if she’s “allowed”. Want to leave this drama behind but my wife is truly a great person whom I want to be with.
Submitted March 28, 2020 at 06:22PM by StressedDepressedBoi https://ift.tt/2WP4qPm
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