New relationship (like less than 2 months official new, dating since January). He’s amazing: really kind, generous, thoughtful, etc. I am so happy with him. But today I told a white lie that is causing me stress and guilt, because 1) I think he is upset 2) I really value honesty. TMI Background info: I have IBS-D. Certain foods trigger it, stress triggers it, and lack of exercise worsens it. On a good day, I poop a normal poop once. On a bad day with flareups, I can have anywhere from 3-6 instances of diarrhea, along with debilitating stomach pains and terrible gas.
So today we were hanging out at his place - essentially both of us working from home - and chatting. We had eaten Chinese food (bad idea on my part maybe since I haven’t had it in a while) the night before, and I was dealing with something stressful with work....so cue the telltale signs of an IBS flareup. The thing is, even though my boyfriend knows about my IBS, it’s one thing to talk about it and a whole different thing to hear all of that going on in the bathroom! Toilets are echo chambers after all, the bathroom is within full earshot of the entire apartment, AND he has the worst toilet in the world: it has the lowest pressure on earth, and I would have surely clogged it with my smelly, orange diarrhea - absolutely guaranteed. It’s a really embarrassing and unsexy problem, especially when you’re in that sexy honeymoon phase. So...I balked and lied. I said I had to go home to make dinner so as not to waste spoiling produce at home. But really, I wanted the freedom to noisily empty my bowels with a strong toilet and fresh clothes at the ready. It was such a feeble lie, and he looked so disappointed since we had made plans to go on a walk later - basically I could see on his face that he was unhappy. As I was leaving, we made plans to see each other on Saturday, but I was feeling so guilty that I texted to ask if he could come over to mine tomorrow instead (I want badly to explain what was really going on). He agreed unenthusiastically (compared to other times), then specifically asked how my dinner was. I’m not sure if I’m reading into this, but he really does seem upset and disbelieving. It’s really causing me more stress because I like this guy so much, but my problem is gross, smelly, embarrassing, and pretty much gonna be around forever. I panicked and lied and now I feel like I’m ruining this already.
Anyway, how do I approach this conversation with him tomorrow in person about this? It’s too early for us in the relationship for anyone to be upset with the other!
Tl;dr: lied to my new bf about why I had to leave his apartment to go home. Told him it was because I had to cook but really it was because I had what was multiple impending diarrhea volcanoes. He seemed disappointed and like he could see that I was lying. How do I explain and not ruin the relationship?
Submitted March 26, 2020 at 06:55PM by willowcat20 https://ift.tt/3bvkOsp
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