Hi everyone, thank you for taking the time to read this. I am distraught and don't know where else to turn. I am going to try to keep this as brief as I possibly can. I am a first time poster, so sorry for any mistakes in advance.
When I was 14, my mother (38F) married my stepfather (32M) and myself and my little brother moved to his home country. At first things were going well, but then they began to have kids. In quick succession I became the older sister to three more brothers (4M, 3M, 1M), and I hope it doesn't sound like an exaggeration when I say that I became a parent at that point. The cracks had not only begun to show in the marriage between my mother and stepfather, but he began to neglect his medical condition, the family, and the children that his sexist point of view deemed the sole responsibility of my mother.
To her, I was just "helping out." But to me, my high school years were consumed with parenting. From the minute I stepped in the door after school, I was on duty. I rarely hung out with the few friends I had, I was forced to do my school work into the small hours of the night, and every time I dared to raise an issue I had my electronic devices taken away. When I somehow managed to get a boyfriend during my junior year, they used my relationship as a scapegoat for why I was daring to talk back. The cycle of extreme exhaustion, being told that my relationship was the problem, and (what people tell me was) emotional abuse led to me being constantly on the mental brink. I hope this doesn't sound dramatic, but tears are running down my face just thinking about it. I don't know why my boyfriend stayed with me through it all, if I'm honest.
Since I left for college, I thought that the adults would finally be forced to be just that: adults. I stupidly thought that there was no way they would inflict the same treatment on my oldest younger brother, who is still just a little kid. But while he is definitely allowed to hand out with friends more than me, and retains his electronics a lot more often, he is going through much the same treatment that I endured. Now his school has been cancelled due to COVID-19, and he is struggling to cope. I just got off the phone with him, and he is not doing well to say the least. And I feel awful. Anytime I tried to speak out about what I was going through, I was punished for it and I do not want my brother to deal with that on top of what he is dealing with. At least when I was at home, I protected him from all of it. Now I feel helpless, and as though I am a failure of an older sister. He does travel back to our home country every summer to see his father and our family, but current circumstances have thrown that into disarray. He feels overworked, underappreciated, and at his breaking point.
I simply can't let him do this alone, reddit. I did, and now at age 20 I am convinced my youth is over, I have a litany of health problems (physical and mental), and every time I travel home I am sucked back into the cycle of "helping out." If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading and for any answers you may have for me, it truly means the world.
TL:DR my 13 year old brother is being overworked while "helping out" with our siblings at home, and is at his breaking point. I went through the same treatment, and my heart is breaking for him because I feel helpless to stop it.
Submitted March 29, 2020 at 04:45PM by parentifiedtothemax https://ift.tt/2URscYy
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