TL;DR: I want to accept my Bf's relationship with his friend, but can't find a way to talk to him about it.
I don't know how to have a constructive discussion about this without him getting offended. I want to feel good about their friendship but it's hard to not see the love/tension between them and hear him say that it's nothing more than just friendly love. I have no reason to doubt him, it's just hard not to connect dots, especially when I have previous relationship insecurities (don't we all) My boyfriend has had a really flirty, close online relationship with his friend, whom he's known since high school, that I have watched blossom over the last 3 yrs(before we started dating). Weekly, they post galleries to each others' Facebook walls, and then comment with hearts and flirty gifs. Not normally an issue for me as I am coming from a polyamorous relationship, so I understand the many layers of love. The issue is that when we started to date a year and half ago, I brought up their relationship to figure out where they were at, and he was a little hurt and protective of his friendship with her, stating that he doesn't have many friends and his abusive ex used to try and control who he could talk to. Small flag, but I understood where he was coming from. I have many insecurities myself. I assured him that I just wanted to know where things were at, if he thought of dating her, etc. He's monogamous and plans to stay that way. Going forward, things are great otherwise and I would love to be with this guy forever, but that means accepting their relationship. Which I have a hard time with, since he continues to keep things about her private, posts things to my wall only on the days he drops her gallery, sends me cheesy love texts on those days. It's hard not to assume he does those things out of guilt. Do I continue living day to day, trusting him, feeling uneasy every week and try to push it aside and forget it? How can I talk to him about my feelings, when they seem to come from a place of insecurity without upsetting him? Am I just being silly/crazy? This sounds super petty, but it's a huge mental block for me, that I can't seem to set straight. Any input would be gladly welcomed. Thanks!
Submitted March 31, 2020 at 11:43AM by harveyschaos https://ift.tt/2UvcSSd
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