Link to original: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/e0k27o/i20f_feel_like_im_at_the_end_of_my_rope_with_my/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I thought now that I'm in a much better place, I should update this.
I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of days after this post. I didn't plan on it happening so soon, but we got into another petty fight and it escalated to the point where I told him this wasn't working.
The petty fight was because I refused to sleep on the side of the bed away from the phone charger. In my own apartment. One time I accidentally snoozed his alarm for work and he was late. I hadn't done it again since then but he held it over my head. I'm not sure what shifted the argument but it started to be about how he works harder than me and that I don't deserve my job because it's easier than his. It then turns back to all the grudges he's held against me, as it usually does.
After fighting for almost 4 hours, I tell him that we need to take a break. He changes his demeanor completely and then tries to tell me that he's sorry and he doesn't want to lose me. He makes promises to curb his anger issues by taking medication and going to therapy, which I've asked of him time and time again to do in the past. I wonder at this point, why does it take me breaking up with him for him to finally want to do these things?
The next day I told him that he needed to pack his things from my apartment. I left for work and he did what I asked. A couple days later I went to get my keys. He started crying and telling me that this feels like a real break up. I told him it just might be, I didn't know if I wanted to get back together with him. I still feel regretful for saying it was a break, because I gave him hope that we would possibly reconcile when I didn't intend on it. I was afraid that if I had suggested a break up right off the bat I would have gotten a more explosive reaction from him. We hugged after I got my keys and I was hoping that maybe there was a chance we could remain friends.
About two weeks after this he showed up at my apartment unannounced. I got scared and called my mom, and she hurried over. As soon as he saw her he told her that he just wanted his things. I should have seen this was a red flag because the only thing of his that remained was a hairdryer. As soon as I let them in he rushed over to my box of condoms and counted them, before saying there was one missing and running over to dig through my trashcans. He couldn't find anything and then tried to take the snake he got me for our anniversary. I stopped him from taking the snake, at this point I was sobbing and freaking out. My mom and I were yelling at him to leave or else we would call the police. After he left, I blocked him on all social media and his phone number.
Since then I've had a mixed range of emotions, from missing him to hating him. I realize that he was abusive but I can't help but feel guilty about how things ended. I don't regret that I made the decision to break up with him, however, because a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I really want to thank everyone that replied to my post because you all gave me the courage to stand up for myself and initiate the end of this relationship that was slowly destroying me. I feel so free now that I have control of my life without someone micromanaging me, and I still struggle with thoughts of him but I'm slowly but surely improving.
Tl;dr: I broke up with my boyfriend, had some shit happen, but I'm much happier!
Submitted March 27, 2020 at 07:22PM by kitty-kouhai https://ift.tt/3dAnDdz
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