So my husband (30M) - we’ll call him J - has been a sex addict since he early teens. As a result, he’s got psychological trauma and can’t stop going back to hooking up with people online.
A few things to note - I did know that he had this problem when I married him. I genuinely thought healing could come from a loving relationship with his wife. I was wrong. I’ve learned a lot about trying to fix other people. Last year in June, I heard him say I love you to a person he’s been on again and off again with over Instagram. Yes, I hacked his account. I don’t regret it because it showed me the true nature of his business online. Would I ever do it again? Absolutely not. Because I care about my own mental state now and I don’t want to obsess over things anymore. (Anyone know the feeling?)
Anyway... after that, I told him I was done. I had almost weekly discovered things - phone numbers in pockets, chats he’d left up on our joint computer, etc. I stayed with him for four years throughout all of this. I truly believed he could change.
But after hearing him say I love you to someone else, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I asked for a divorce. Unfortunately, we live in Alaska and a) public assistance is difficult to acquire and b) it’s incredibly difficult to work full time, put my 4 year old in daycare, and still pay rent due to extremely high living costs.
Since June, nothing has really changed except that I kicked him out of our bedroom and claimed that space as my own safe zone. Unfortunately, with the quarantine, we’re now stuck in the same house together and it’s killing me slowly. I feel like being in his presence is just making me crazy. The disconnect has always confused me so much - he’s so nice and attentive and sweet to me, but he’s literally texting other people WHILE spending time with me. It’s confusing AF.
I haven’t checked his socials or his laptop or his phone in months. I’m very proud of this. But it has been very hard to be in the same house with him all day wondering if he’s texting someone or talking to someone. I refuse to give in because I know how badly it hurts when I find what I’m looking for, but it also hurts to refrain.
I just wanted to make this post because I feel like there MUST be someone out there who is struggling with similar quarantine situations and I want them to not feel so alone. 🖤
TL;DR My husband (30M) and I (29F) are separated but stuck in the same house during quarantine. I’m sending hugs to anyone also in the same situation!!
Submitted March 28, 2020 at 10:38PM by jiffyquick https://ift.tt/2QUajH6
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