Hi everyone,
Using a throwaway for this as I use Reddit a lot. I've been dating my boyfriend for 7-8 months. We met through a mutual friend, and the first few months were like a fairytale. We hit it off incredibly well and spent hours talking, romantic weekend trips, meeting his friends, it all seemed amazing. I wouldn't say I fall in love easily and have only been in love twice before, but I did with this guy, and he said the same to me. We spent NYE together and in bed afterwards both said how much we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. I felt so, so sure that this was the 'one'.
Well, it went downhill from there. We had a couple of huge fights, which were really upsetting, stemming from me feeling like he had no empathy for me. I was going through both some serious medical issues and some family drama and he just didn't seem to care at all. Any time I tried to vent or let off steam or just seek someone to talk to, he would get irritated and short with me. He started to tell me I was whining every time I said anything which wasn't 100% positive and to complain that I talk too much, and talk about nothing just to fill the silence. I am aware that I do sometimes have a tendency to be negative so I tried to dial it back, but perhaps it was already too late, because now it feels like every single thing I say sets him off and his responses are getting, to me, meaner and meaner to the point of just being downright cruel.
I went to his house last night for dinner and bearing in mind the stuff he'd told me recently, made a huge effort to neither complain nor talk too much. We cuddled on the couch in total silence for a while, then I read stuff on my phone while he finished up some stuff he was doing. We went into the kitchen to start preparing the food and I said 'do you want me to open some wine or something?', as I have many times done this as he was preparing food. He said 'that makes no sense. Rephrase the question'. I just stared at him, totally speechless because I had no idea what the hell was wrong with that sentence. Apparently it was 'too vague' and I should have asked him if he wanted wine, or just gone and started doing it. I found this kind of ridiculous but bit my tongue because I didn't want to fight. When I opened the fridge to get the wine out, I saw some cute mini chocolate things in there with cool labels I hadn't seen before and said 'oh, these look cool! Where did you get them?' to which he rolled his eyes to heaven and said 'you can get those EVERYWHERE. Why do you ask such stupid question all the time?' I had never seen those ever before in my life and I didn't think it was a stupid question. In fact, I thought I was saying something positive and happy. We ended up fighting, and I went home, and now we're barely talking.
I just feel totally blindsided. Yes, I know I can be annoying, and repetitive, and maybe prone to overdoing the small talk a little bit, but I feel like he's being downright contemptuous. He's gone from telling me how amazing I am and wanting to spend hours talking to me to getting irritated by every last little thing I say or do. Is there any coming back from this? He seems to think that if I just stopped talking so much it would all be fine but to me, it feels like he's saying I can't be myself. I'm a naturally open and talkative person (not loud or obnoxious, I just like to chat) and he knew that from the beginning and NOW it's an issue? I'm so lost and confused :(
tl;dr For the first few months of my relationship, everything was going great and I was sure I'd met the person I was going to marry. Now every single thing I say or do seems to annoy him and he seems to think I'm a moron.
Submitted March 28, 2020 at 06:26PM by Murky_Profession https://ift.tt/39nOTsl
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