NSFW I feel embarrassed when receiving oral because my friend told me my labia was disgusting

Hi I’m kat and I’m 19F and I’m dating this guy, let’s call him A, who is 22M.

We’ve almost been together for a year and while there have been a few bumps in the road we’re in a somewhat good place.

One of these bumps is related to sex, he has only ever gone down on me twice. Both of these times were at the beginning of the relationship and then sometime during the 3 month mark he got a wisdom tooth infection and he says he doesn’t want it to get infected again, so no more giving oral. I have continued giving oral because I don’t think sex should be tit for tat and also I enjoy my partners reaction.

I know that I am hygienic down there because my ex had absolutely no issues with any sorts of odour or anything.

So obviously this took a toll on how I felt about myself. Then one day my best friend and I, who is also coincidentally called kat, were looking at plastic surgery before and after pics and we started looking at labioplasty. Now my labia is somewhat longer than average and looked like some of the before pictures (but it doesn’t physically bother me so I’ve never been SUPER self conscious about it). My friend starts going off about how DISGUSTING and REVOLTING those labias looked, how she would rather die than look like that, and how she never wanted to get old (I guess she attributes longer labia to age?).

Now at the time I felt super embarrassed and just kinda went along with it but it kinda stuck with me. I was really hurt but a few months later I asked my bf to go down on me after confessing everything that happened over text. He was super supportive and I thought everything would be fine.

But he never followed through, until yesterday (another couple months later). Unfortunately by now I’m just so in my head about everything I couldn’t go through with it and told him I wasn’t comfortable with it. He said ‘you’re the boss’ and we left it at that.

I want advice on how to get over this, and not let it hold me back. I worry by me rejecting his first attempt in 9 months will ensure he‘ll never try again. What should I do?

TLDR: friend told my my labia was disgusting plus my boyfriend hasn’t gone down on me in 9 months makes me super self conscious about my body and I can’t even accept oral anymore

Submitted March 29, 2020 at 08:54PM by shrumkat https://ift.tt/2xysdZn