We have been together for approximately 6 months now. Since the beginning of our relationship my gf has wanted another dog. She currently has a small 1 year old dog that is somewhat trained.
I say somewhat trained because it has separation anxiety and still has housetraining issues. When she leaves for work it is home in its crate all day for upwards of 10 hours where it howls and barks incessantly for hours. When she comes home it has soiled itself and sometimes even vomited or pooped. When she is home it follows her everywhere, even standing on the edge of the curtain while she showers. When we sleep it must sleep in the bed with us. We have to put a fence around the bed so it does not jump down and pee in the middle of the night. It once even peed on us while we were sleeping in bed. When we have sex it often jumps on the bed with us and licks our faces. When we eat it jumps all over us.
I've tried to talk to her multiple times about getting a training plan together for the dog. She keeps saying she is doing all she can and she just has a difficult dog. I'm not used to this as I had a dog growing up that learned not to have accidents in the house, not to howl, not to jump on us when we have food. She refuses to listen to advice I try to give her. I send her articles from online dog trainers and she ignores them.
Now she has been asking we get another dog from the beginning. She thinks that getting a second dog will help her current dogs anxiety so they can be left home together. She keeps making comments like "they can be crated together all day and keep each other company." I've told her I'm not ok with this and I would want him to be in a play pen while he's training and then eventually the entire house when he learns. Then I would get a dog walker to come over at lunch. She takes this as a personal attack and says that can't happen. But she wants this dog to be my dog. So already we are having disagreements about training and we don't even have it. I'm not sure I'm ready to make that commitment for the next 15 years. We plan on moving in together in a month or so and we have a 1 bedroom apartment which I don't think is fair to the dog either to not have a yard.
Now here's where I messed up. About 2 months ago I thought I was ready to get a dog and even went so far as to pick one out and prepare to go get him. I got cold feet and backed out. It caused a horrible fight. Now this week I did the same thing and backed out again. I told her last night I decided I wasn't ready and she started crying and screaming and packing all her things. She says I betrayed her and this is worse than me cheating on her. I broke down crying saying I'm sorry and I love her but I just can't do it right now. She ended up not leaving but spent all night telling me how awful I am. How her friend has a better relationship than us. How she can't wait to see how I make this up to her. How her trust in me is permanently broken. How my word means nothing to her anymore and she doesn't think she wants to move in with me anymore.
She's at work right now and I'm working from home with her dog who is currently sitting next to me whining. Awaiting her to come up in a few hours and probably break up with me. Am I being unreasonable here?
Tldr; gf has untrained dog. Wants another dog. I picked one out then backed out. Gf says I betrayed her worse than cheating on her. We almost broke up. We probably still will.
Submitted March 27, 2020 at 06:55AM by omgotters https://ift.tt/3bqNz9q
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