Been married for just over three years and just discovered that my husband's most prominent/visible tattoo (he has many) matches an ex's tattoo.
Now...theoretically, fine. BUT he has now lied for over the five years of us being together about it, telling me that it was something he got when an old high school friend who was visiting went to get it and chickened out so he got it to match and calm her down because he already had many. I thought that was sweet, and something which speaks well of his character (as an already heavily tattooed person, going to help someone who was feeling scared out). And I feel reasonably sure that had he told me that about an ex girlfriend, I also would have thought was sweet and spoke well of his character (sure, you can be a little jealous and still be heartened to know your guy was a gentleman to the previous women!).
But, the fact that he has consistently lied about it to me (and anyone else who has ever asked him about it when I was in earshot) concerns me enormously. As does the fact that right when we got married, he got a tattoo in honour of me and consistently maintained that it's the only tattoo he's ever gotten for a girl.
This seems a bit hard to explain, in that if he had told the truth at the start, I think it wouldn't have registered with me at all—or to a much lesser degree and something that you just get on with and get over. Heaps of people have tattoos of/about/with their exes. But now there's been multiple compounding lies over the course of many years—including lies to many many people only the day after we got married. It's been a few months since this has come out, we've talked about and he's offered to have it covered up 'if that's what [I] want' (i.e. he doesn't seem to want that), but the whole thing is still bothering me. Just wanting some ideas of what others might do in this situation, as most things I've discovered online are about people bothered by someone having, say, their's ex's name tattooed on their body—not lying about a symbolic representation which exactly matches that which the ex has. The *lies*...really...bother...me...
TL;DR: husband has matching tattoo with ex girlfriend; has lied to me about it since the start of our relationship. I don't care so much about the tattoo, but unsure how to feel about the lies. What would others do/how might they feel in such a situation?
Submitted March 27, 2020 at 08:49PM by Local_Meaning https://ift.tt/2UrtkDc
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