My (27f) ex (30m) admitted that our relationship to him was strictly wanting me for sex and I feel absolutely mortified.

I apologize for this, but it's a bit of a rant and I'm just at a place where I don't exactly know what to think anymore.

My ex and I were working things out (all was well). It didn't even take a day for him to call it off because he felt uncomfortable with who I am-when he knew everything and anything from the start of the relationship. He agreed that he did lie about who he was to have the relationship continue (he admitted this to me several months later)..which made me think that I don't even know his actual feelings for me and what's true and what's not. It came to the point today where he agreed that all he wanted me for was sex. Never wanted a relationship and never had actual feelings. This was going on for about a year and I have never felt so mortified of myself. I felt like I should have known but every time we talked, he was only messing with my emotions leading me to believe that he actually wanted a relationship. He accused me of being a wh**e numerous times and accused me of sleeping around with people when I never have-I was always in a relationship.
I have never felt so incredibly low and horrid of myself because I'm not the person to do that and the fact that's all he wanted is heartbreaking to me. So now, it led me to believe that it's all people think of me and I don't know how to get away from that mindset.

Has anyone been in this situation before? Has anyone felt like this? I know I'll have people say to not worry about it, or it's a joke, etc.-but I have feelings for him, strong feelings and wanted to do anything and everything to have this work out between us. I never gave up no matter how bad it got.. but to now think this? I don't even know what to think of myself and what other people think anymore.

TL;DR my ex admitted that all he wanted me for was sex and I just feel completely mortified of myself and don't even know what to think or do. We were getting back together to work things out but it took a day for him to call it off.

Submitted March 28, 2020 at 12:44PM by HauntlyVamp13 https://ift.tt/2ygzIV6