I want to start off by saying I love my grandmother, but I don’t know how to handle this anymore.
My grandma has always been a helicopter parent and grandmother. She controlled every aspect of my mother’s life, and has tried to control mine for the past eighteen years. She shows up at my mother’s house unannounced almost every day. She constantly texts my siblings and I “What are you doing? What is [name] doing?” Even when one of my siblings has already answered, she still asks another one of us the same question. While in high school, she emailed my teachers multiple times about things I had already handled, and has done the same for my siblings. She wants to know word for word what I’m texting people. She also repeats things multiple times to my family, and she knows it. Her excuse is “Well I just want to make sure you know.”
You get the gist. She is a control freak. Not only that, but she oversteps her boundaries on personal information like telling people something I told her not to tell others, or looks through people’s mail.
I’d like to give some context: Firstly, I have a complex medical history. Due to this, I’m the one that is controlled the most. I’ve already communicated to her many times that I am eighteen years old and can handle talking for myself, and making my own decisions. Apparently, my mother went through the same process I am going through now, but I have it worse.
She also couldn’t have kids on her own, so maybe that is why she is so overbearing?
I think my grandmother is lonely. She doesn’t have too many friends due to her overbearing and controlling nature. I feel like this is why she tries to be so involved in our lives. She is the sweetest person on the planet, but just doesn’t understand when people don’t want to talk anymore or that something she did wasn’t socially acceptable. It’s very sad, but it’s very obvious when people get annoyed with her in public and I try to tell her they don’t want to talk anymore and she doesn’t listen.
Two of us are leaving for college next fall and I’m concerned my grandma will not know how to handle herself. It seems like we “are her world” as described by one of my friends. I’d like to help my grandma, but obviously it’s hard when she doesn’t listen.
TL;DR My grandmother is a helicopter grandmother and parent, trying to control everything. I’m worried that she’s going to get super lonely when my sibling and I leave for college. I also don’t know how to handle her control issues anymore.
Submitted April 01, 2019 at 05:59AM by granddaughtert https://ift.tt/2WLdemf
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