I hope this is the right place to post for some advice on this issue!
I’m [24f] moving out with my boyfriend [24m] of 3 years for the first time and my parents are guilt tripping me really hard. My partner and I both have full time careers that pay well and we have been saving significantly, we have no debt, so it’s not a question of if we can. The place is in the nice side of town full of people our age. I can afford the rent alone, and so can he, so it’s not a money question, it’s a personal issue: My parents really don’t want to see me go. The entire time I’ve been apartment hunting, my mom has told me I’m moving too far and told me I was stupid for renting and not buying a house near her, etc, so it has been stressful.
When I was in college, I lived at home during the main semesters and only lived at school for the summer. School was 7 miles away. I visited every weekend and it was no big deal. But my parents are saying I’m moving too far away. For reference, I’m moving to the other side of the city, 16 miles away from them. In high traffic, it’s maybe 50 minutes. In normal conditions, around 20. I explained that I’m still in the same area and will see them on the weekends and whenever! I also feel that they should make an effort to see me. They can drive, it’s not a limitation. It’s not like I’m leaving the state; I’m not even leaving the county! Yet my mom says it’s a bad choice and she says that my dad is not allowed to help me move either. Which is fine, I can handle the move myself. I just want my dad to still like me.
This move will mean my new commute to work is 5 minutes, I’ll be living near my friends, and able to really enjoy my 20s. Having a place to entertain and call my own is something I really desire, but I care about my parents even though I think they are being a little much on this one. I have two older siblings [30m and 26f] who moved out and live less than 4 miles away from my parents, so my parents want me to do the same. The part of town I’m moving to is an area I’m often at already, so I’m comfortable there. My mom is often very hard on me and my father, so I feel bad about leaving him alone to deal with her ways. But I think that I can’t live my life for anyone but me. So am I being a bad person for wanting to move out? Any suggestions are appreciated! Sorry for the word salad!
Tl;dr: my parents think that me moving 16 miles across town is too far and our relationship is suffering because of it. Are they being irrational? Am I doing something wrong? Any idea how i can salvage the relationship and move out?
Edit: wow thank you all for your help! I really appreciate all these pieces of advice and support for this issue I’m having. I’m feeling confident in my choice to move.
Submitted April 30, 2019 at 04:00AM by callmehyacinthgirl http://bit.ly/2vrShAZ
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