My (24f) father (62m) just got a kidney transplant and is home too soon and i am absolutely burnt out trying to care for him 24/7 while working. I just scrubbed diarrhea out of the carpets and Im at my wits end.

My mother died when i was a baby and my dad stopped taking care of himself and got sick. He had my sister and i to take care of and worked himself to the edge of death. My sister is two years older and is a nurse who works overnights. I work three minutes away elsewhere. I am NOT a nurse and am squeamish and have a strong dislike for injecting people with needles and seeing poop and other similar things.

He had the transplant last week after being on a list for 7 years. He has been very ill with kidney disease, diabetes type 2 and the effects of a stroke for 10 years. He had been getting by on his own with some help at times. There were complications with the surgery and he needs to have a catheter in his penis to let the kidney drain his urine constantly. I have to empty his pee bags multiple times a day.

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Heres a list of the things ive been doing and have been trying to get used:

- dress his 12 inch long wound

-saw his newly circumsized penis because he is often unclothed and doesnt realize

-learned how to inject his insulin because he is unable to and have to do it 4 times a day.

-injecting finger to take blood sugar multiple times a day

-medications multiple times a day

-running back and forth to the store whenevr he needs more meds, ensure, foods.

-cook all of his meals

-clean and make sure evrything is sterilzed at all times

-help him get dressed

-change bed spread when he completely bleeds thru the sheets and all over mattress and tells me it’s normal

-empty his urine bags multiple times a day

-deal with emotional abuse if i take too long to do anything

-rush home from work if he calls me and needs something immediately. ex: if his sugar is super low and needs a snack

-blood pressure and weight numerous times a day

-drive him to and from appointments a few times a week early in the morning and am usually out for 4 hours at a time.

-and now SCRUB DIARRHEA OUT OF THE CARPET AND KITCHEN FLOOR because he had an accident on the way to the BR

I feel unable to be out of the house or far away because of all of this. I am extremely stressed out and i am the only one who lives with him. My sister lives nearby and is also helping but only when she can. She will stop by for a few hours at a time when available but works and sleeps during the day.

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I AM SO OVERWHELMED AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I feel terrified to ask him if we can get him an aid or something because he will take it as an attack and tell me how selfish i am. Please help me i am so desperate and have been strugging with panic attacks due to this all.

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TL;DR: 62 year old dad is unable to care for himself after kidney transplant and i am extremely burnt out after only 5 days. Worried it will be like this for awhile and am afraid to bring up getting an aid because he will call me selfish.

EDIT: apparently he tells me he can’t afford an aid, doesn’t want an aid, and that he’ll be stronger in a few days. His hands shake. So long as he is on insulin, I have to inject and check his sugars. He doesn’t have much control over his bowels. Will that be fixed in days? He can barely stand for more than a few min at a time. Also fixed in days?

Submitted April 28, 2019 at 06:19PM by leptictidium00 http://bit.ly/2GGQv45