A few weeks ago I made the horrible mistake of letting my emotions get the best of me and told my boyfriend I wasn’t feeling loved by him. We’ve never had any issues before this. By the end of the day we decided we’d take a break to find ourselves, think about our relationship, and start over.
This Thursday, I received a long text message from him explaining how he thought it was best that we break up. It killed me. I spent the last three weeks realizing my flaws in this relationship and how I was really trying to force a perfect thing when all I wanted was to have fun together. I asked if we could talk on the phone or meet up and he said no, he’d do better via text. We went back and forth a bit and he said he would think it over again because I was so confident it would work this time, but that I shouldn’t expect a different outcome. He promised me he’d really think about it, not just lead me on for another day.
Friday I wrote him a note where I expressed my feelings towards everything. I poured my heart and soul into this. I asked if he wanted to discuss anything and he said no, he just needed to think. I told him of course and that I’d respect his space.
It’s Sunday now. My skin is crawling and my heart is aching. I fucking love this boy. We work so well together and I believe so much that this second go would be really great for us. But I’ve heard nothing from him. He was supposed to tell me Friday.
My anxiety is killing me. I’m not ready for this heartbreak because I’ll always regret bringing up how I felt while I was in a bad headspace, instead of just trying to talk to him about it.
tl;dr my boyfriend and I will probably break up today even though we’ve never had any issues and I still love him dearly. There’s a slim chance we won’t but I can’t think about that. My heart feels shattered.
Submitted April 28, 2019 at 11:00AM by backupthrowawayqs http://bit.ly/2IOw9t7
No comments:
Post a Comment