I[F36] need to place my father [M67] in a nursing home, and I don’t know how to talk to him about it. Any advice please.

Last night my younger sister [F33] texts me our dad fell and she couldn’t help him back up. She called one of our cousins [M40s] to come help him back in his bed.

My worst fear is that he falls again and lies there for hours until someone comes by. Now, my sister and her husband moved in with him a couple years ago after our mom died and they’ve been taking care of him, but they’re not healthcare pros. He’s deteriorating, spends every waking moment drunk on box wine, and needs more care than what my sister and brother-in-law can provide. They’re understandably exhausted.

I’m driving up to see him next weekend with our older sister [F38]. And we’ve decided that we’re going to talk to him about the next step in his care.

Dad and I have had a strained relationship as long as I can remember. He’s a mean son-of-a-bitch, and I catch the most shit from him. My sisters are even now acutely aware of how rude and cruel his words are. I say all that because he’s not going to react to this well. I don’t really care what nonsense he’ll sling at me, but I do care that he’s not getting the care he needs.

He has a nurse come by twice a week to bathe him and give him a checkup. But if he’s bed bound, and can’t move around with risking serious injury, he needs more care.

My sisters aren’t very good at standing up to him, but they feel the same way. I’ll be doing most of the talking, but we’re a united front.

What do I say to this once-brilliant and successful man who’s been slowly decaying inside and out since mom died? I’m not a touchy-feely person and neither is he. But he’s usually aggro from the Franzia and just hollers and spits bile.

TLDR: mean drunk dad needs to go to a nursing home, and I don’t know how to start the conversation.

Submitted April 28, 2019 at 11:33AM by sadhandjobs http://bit.ly/2ZFOFct