TLDR—-boyfriends bff is a girl, she spent the night while I was out of town...among other things. We were friends too but idk anyo
I (26F) have been with him “E” (36M) for about 31\2 years now. He met her, “M” at a conference shortly before we met. When we first started having sex and spending the night, he left my house early and met with her to have coffee. That time he lied and said he was at home. (I found out because I was snooping). That caused problems, he used to stay at her house visiting late into the night and when I asked him to stop staying so late, we had to fight about it first.
Over time we all had become “close.” Our daughter calls her auntie even. Well E recently bought a house for our little family. He works at a school and won’t be getting paid this summer and thinks to have M move in with us to help with the bills. We all talk about it and decide to do it. We want to see how it goes with her over so eventually M starts spending all weekend at the house with her overwhelmingly bratty 7 year old. I also learned that the 7 year old is curious about masterbating and I even saw her trying to involve my 1 1\2 year old in her sexual exploration. We all talk about it and M decides she needs to talk to her child about it. I tell her it’s important that it be addressed before I can feel secure with them moving into the house. I don’t trust E to look out for our baby to make sure Ms daughter keeps her hands to herself. And I have not heard any updates about if M even talked to the child about boundaries l. Meanwhile I keep trying with this friendship for the sake of my man (because He says they’re very close.)
Over time M begins to stay for way too long to the point where I don’t have any time for my family and her daughter takes control of the living room by watching tv shows for hours on end. I eventually said something about the tv and had to ask them to leave.
My aunt passed away so I went out of town for the funeral. Now having M and her daughter over spending the night isn’t new. However that’s when I’m home and on the weekend. Just before I left my partner E gets a call from a buddy inviting him over to which he says yes. A fee minutes later M calls and asks to hang out. I also hear him telling her that I was still home and would be leaving soon. E then decided to go with M to go shopping (never does that with me btw) and they all spend the night. Meanwhile everyone has work and school in the morning.
Now I don’t want M in the house because she should not have come over when I wasn’t home AND the issue with her daughter. Or the issue with the whole thing. I really don’t know what to do at this point because the whole thing is a shitshow...
Do you think she’s really my friend? Do you think they care about how I feel? What should I do about this? When was the line crossed? Am I over reacting by not being friends with M anymore?
I honestly think I’m just done with this relationship...
Submitted April 29, 2019 at 09:06PM by TresEmotional http://bit.ly/2PC5zEd
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