My (19F) best friend (19F) made fun of something extremely personal and I don’t know how to handle it.

TW: Suicide mentions. I mention (in non-graphic detail) how I once tried to commit suicide via ODing on my mother’s medication.

(If this isn’t the proper way to warn others of the content in this post, please correct me!)

Context: I’ve never met her (I’ll call her Marissa) in person before, but we Skype call at least three times a week for an hour or so at a time. Outside of that, we message each other constantly on various social media platforms and even create content for each other (we met through Tumblr because of fandom). We’ll have been friends for two years in August and have grown close enough we’ve discussed traveling 1,500 miles to visit each other.

On Halloween night of 2017, I attempted to OD on a bottle of my mother’s prescription pills. I won’t go into the graphic details, but Marissa was really my rock during the aftermath. She sent me letters while I was hospitalized and unable to use my phone, along with care packages every other day. This topic was always something that was discussed lightly, delicately, and with good reason. We even held a Skype party this last Halloween just so she could help me stay distracted from what day it was!

(And now onto the real meat of the story) That’s why one of her “jokes” she made yesterday really hurt me. We were in one of our Skype calls, with me chomping on a vitamin C gummy because I’ve been ill lately and her editing something she was writing. She made an offhand comment about me overdosing on Vitamin C gummies, to which I replied, “Who overdoses on Vitamin C gummies?”

“Well, who overdoses on their mom’s medication?”, was her giggly retort. I’ve always had trouble processing things and expressing how something affects me as it’s happening, so I don’t think I realized just how much it hurt until I’d hung up later.

Now I just feel... Weirdly hurt and vulnerable. We both have a mildly morbid sense of humor, but her joke was insanely out of character for her and extremely insensitive, obviously so. I don’t know how to approach her about this, or if I even should try to do so. Confrontation on this scale bothers me horribly! It’s even worse that it’s over something so personal...

How do I go about trying to fix what’s happened? Marissa is really my only friend (besides my mother, sometimes, but that’s a separate post for a separate sub), so I would be rather lonely without her company. Part of me wants to forget it ever happened and just bury it, like I’ve done before. Another part of me also knows that it’s not healthy to do that.

TLDR: I’ve been internet friends with a girl for nearly two years, we’ve had each other’s backs through thick and thin, but she’s recently made fun of my past attempt to OD. It hurts, bad. How do I make it hurt less and fix the friendship before I really ruin it?

Submitted April 30, 2019 at 03:07AM by apollo22500 http://bit.ly/2V5ad3M