We met on an app and hit it off well.
When we first started dating I noticed that she was texting some guy a lot and didn’t think much of it. One day she told me about him being in the area and I asked to meet since I wanted to meet her friends. She tells me no she doesn’t really want to meet him. She told me she only talks to him for work stuff and career advice and doesn’t like him as a person.
This is also when I find out this was an ex right before me. At this point I call her out why she talks to this person so much when it’s someone she won’t let me meet. There was something intrinsically inappropriate about that.
I don’t remember how we wrapped this first talk but some months later we were at a theme park and I notice her sending and receiving selfies and texting someone all day while she’s with me in the line.
At this point I was like wtf and we had another talk about why she’s texting her ex all day while we are at a theme park together. She acknowledged how inappropriate it was and was fully apologetic. I asked if she wanted to be in a relationship and she reassured me that she did and promised to stop.
A year and a half passes and we are moved in together and we just got a dog.
I catch this guy’s name again on her phone notification some days ago.
Hey people can still hit her up right. She’s a hot girl. I let it go.
Then yesterday happens, I see her on her laptop after waking up. She flips through her screens and her text flashes by and it’s that guy’s name again.
I got flustered and tried not to bring it up since she was about to go to work.
Eventually I blurt out ok why the hell are you still talking to your ex. She gives me the same line about being just friends and work talk.
I demand to see texts. She thinks for a minute and tells me he did ask her to break up with me and be with him, but she turned him down. Now I am pretty much convinced there is something going on.
She shows me her phone after getting back from work, so I don’t know if I really got to see everything.
I look and basically they’ve been texting each other every hr for at least a month. There’s so much text I give up scrolling after a bit.
Nothing is overtly explicit, but I discovered good mornings and conversation starters from her end. I guess first thing she did every morning lately was text this guy and talk to him all night while I am asleep as they both work nights.
At this point she says how sorry she is and how stupid she was for thinking she could be just friends with him.
She tells me she blocked him on everything. Ah ok so there are more stuff than just what I saw in imessage.
I didn’t see anything explicit, probably because i don’t have the stomach to look through everything, the amount of emotional intimacy i saw in those texts made me feel sick.
I saw her responding to same topics that she wouldn’t be interested with me. I realized how many things she talked to me about was coming from convos with this guy. There were things she didn’t share with me. I suddenly realized why she started giving one word responses when I’d ask her how her day went. She already told him all about it so none left for me.
So I feel like this is over. I set explicit boundaries twice and she just breaks them. She doesn’t really talk to other people so I don’t accept her excuse of this being some career networking or simple friendship.
It really sucks because outside of this everything is great and we were talking about getting married.
She’s begging me for another chance but I feel like she’ll run to this guy the moment we are over anyway.
There were other guys who hit her up from the past but she would tell me and shut them down. I guess this dude is real special.
I asked her to move out and she started crying and I couldn’t push forward.
We agreed to go to bed for now but I am sitting here definitely not sleeping tonight.
I am hurting so bad and I need your judgements.
Tl;dr! girlfriend keeps talking to her ex against my wishes and eventually had a full emotional affair.
Submitted June 22, 2022 at 12:39AM by Always_Excited https://ift.tt/b89lv4N
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