Pretty shitty situation here, and I’ve never been in one like this so have no idea what I should do. My girlfriend of three years (22 Y/O F) called me (27 Y/O M) today and informed me that she got really drunk last night and kissed/made out with a man she is acquainted with in her home town where she’s working for the summer. I am away from home for weeks at a time for work, and was on a job when I got the call. I had a bit of a freak out internally but told her I’m disappointed and would call her tomorrow.
In between that time and now, she has sent me several apologetic, yet strangely aggressive text messages, saying; she didn’t know if she initiated or the man did, she would have her family watch over her when they go drinking in the future, and a picture someone sent of her passed out drunk on the floor of a living room with her belly exposed as well as her covered boobs. Additionally, she sent me a message saying that, “if it gets any worse I’m going to check my self into a psych ward for fear of harming myself.”
Now this is my first long term relationship, and the first woman that I’ve ever lived with. We’ve had small fights mostly about my work and the cold winters where we live throughout the first year of living together, but nothing serious ever. I bought a house this last month and she moved in, helped pay for all the furniture and paint as well as other furnishings and flatware of the home. We have a very active sex life, in fact so much so she’s more often the one initiating multiple times per day that I don’t always have the mood or drive. We also have a good network of friends and couples that we hangout with in our new home and we do lots of hiking and outdoor activities. What I mean to say is, our life has been pretty great and I was starting to get the feeling that I would want to pop the question in the coming year.
Now this happens. I have no idea whether this has happened in the past and she’s telling me this one now out of guilt, if she just made a mistake, if she was playing me the whole time or what. I’m all broken up about it and feel that I can’t trust her anymore. In the back of my head I’m thinking it’s not that big a deal it was a kiss or a little make out, just forgive her you have a life together all your things and bills and insurance and friends are intertwined. Your family loves her, you love her.
On the flip side, the loud part of my brain, I’m thinking this f-ing b-word knew she was getting drunk and decided to talk to a guy and kiss him, knowing it would destroy me and I’d be thousands of miles away working. How hard is it not to kiss someone?! I go to bars and drink, and not once have I ever kissed someone with out intentionally doing so. Also, if she’s saying he kissed her without consent why aren’t you calling the cops and making a lawsuit out of this? My buddy said he tried to make it work with a girl who just kissed another guy and he could never trust her while he was a way again and ended up resenting her and eventually breaking up. I think I may be like him as well, and then I waste more time with someone who it’s not going to work out with and doesn’t want to be with me.
Reddit, all I’m asking for is some opinions other than my one friend, I don’t want to ask my coworkers or family. I need a little advice from people who have been through this. What do I say how do I handle the call tomorrow. Thanks for all the help!
TL;DR My girlfriend cheated and I don’t know if we should be together.
Submitted June 12, 2022 at 08:06PM by IOU-1 https://ift.tt/VwhDenA
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