So I know I’m probably supposed to feel like a piece of shit about posting this, but I’m pretty done at this point and just don’t know how much of a fuck I give.
My spouse (41F) and I (32M) have a mixed family. I have a daughter (middle child, 11), and she has two sons (oldest 12 and youngest 9).
My daughter is like me. She keeps her area clean. Her bedroom, her bathroom, picks up her own messes, etc. These are just things we’ve always done, they’re ingrained.
I’ve tried to teach my spouse’s children these same things and have gotten absolutely nowhere and am continually undermined by her in these efforts. It’s always something like “oh don’t worry about your rooms, I’ll clean them!” And then (sometimes) she does, and then gets pissed at me for not helping. Before you ask, yes I’ve asked her to do counseling with me but she won’t. Not trying to be a dick here, but I work 60+ hours/wk and she works 28-32 at most, so I kinda feel like I shouldn’t have to be cleaning anyones mess (granted I’ll run the laundry every Monday, which everyone at the house knows, and I cook family meals daily).
Today we get a visit from CPS because (surprise) the boys went to daycare with dirty clothes on (before you ask, they have plenty of fucking clothing that is practically new). CPS lady comes in and checks their rooms-filthy, dirty clothes and popcorn bags everywhere. Of course the rest of the house is spotless. I’ve always thought it was a bizarre contrast, but I digress. Anyway, CPS lady says we have a week to clean their rooms. Like it’s not bad, really, I’ve definitely been in peoples places that are worse, but it’s just the concept, you know? I don’t handle waking them up in the mornings because I get up at 4AM so I can get to work on time, so idk what they’re wearing on a daily basis.
This is not the first time this has happened, and every time it’s the same goddamn story.
At what point do I just say I’m done with this shit, take my daughter and leave? Any other suggestions you can make? Edit: I’m looking for solutions to stay, I’d rather not just up and leave, especially because I’m the only father figure her boys have ever had. Bio dad is a druggie POS.
TL;DR: spouse undermines my relationship with step kids and doesn’t enforce any responsibility, CPS always involved because of this, help.
Submitted June 27, 2022 at 06:57PM by The_Druid_of_Algalon https://ift.tt/vTQVMpR
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