I (36F) told my cousin (22F) who her dad is, and now her mom (38F) is mad at me

I (36F) have two cousins, Annie (38F) and Jess (22F).

Annie is my first cousin (dad's sister's daughter), and Jess is Annie's daughter (so she's technically my first cousin once removed, but I call her my cousin). Annie is a single mom: she became pregnant in high school, and decided to keep Jess. The dad (Mark, 39M) is not in the picture: he and Annie were dating, but he broke up with her once she got pregnant, and Annie decided not to pursue him. She raised Jess with help from her parents and the whole extended family, myself included.

The identity of Jess' dad (Mark) is public knowledge in the family: everyone knows who he is... except for Jess, that is, because Annie has always refused to tell her since "she's too young," and the family went along with her decision.

I hadn't seen Annie and Jess for more than five years because reasons, but two days ago we had a family reunion. I found myself talking to Jess: the conversation turned to family stuff, and she said she was angry and frustrated with her mom, because she wouldn't tell who her dad is. Jess told me she'd been asking Annie about it continuously ever since she turned 18, something along the lines of "I'm an adult now, I deserve to know who my dad is, and also get in contact with him if I want," but Annie kept refusing.

I agreed with her, and told her that I could tell her who her dad is if she really wanted me to. She was startled ("So the whole family knew who he is and no one told me?"), but she agreed, and I told him what I knew, which is Mark's first and last name, and the fact that he went to the same school as Annie. Jess thanked me, and the conversation moved on.

This morning, while I was commuting to work, I got an angry phone call from Annie: Jess told her she got in contact with Mark, and they were planning to meet. When Annie asked her how she knew Mark is her dad, Jess said "[My name] told me."

So now Annie is royally pissed off at me, because according to her I had no right to tell Jess who her dad is. I, on the other hand, disagree, because Jess is an adult (she's 22!) and she deserves to know where she comes from if she wants to.

I still don't know how the rest of the family will take it, but I need some perspective: did I do something wrong in telling Jess?

tl;dr: I told my cousin about her dad, and now her mom is mad at me.

Submitted June 21, 2022 at 01:53AM by cousinthrowaway0101 https://ift.tt/Zl0Skr8