My mom [60f] yells at me but I don’t fully understand what I [21f] did

My mom [60f] yells at me but I don’t fully understand what I [21f] did I’m not sure if this is the right sub for this but I would really appreciate any input or advice

My parents are really good people and really loving parents but I have been a huge disappointment to them since I have mental health issues and dropped out of college. They are obviously very resentful of this and though they are nice and supportive 99% of the time they sometimes get extremely hostile over things I don’t feel like I can control. I would love to just get a job and move out but they don’t want me to. I struggle with extreme fatigue and I can’t talk to my mom about it because she gets extremely angry and defensive, because she has insomnia that is much more severe than mine. Today I’ve been so tired and exhausted, I’ve just wanted to sleep all day and I feel like a zombie. My mom wanted me to “air out” my weighted blanket by putting it outside because it can’t fit in our washing machine. But the last time I did this it made it smell awful, I have no idea why, but it made it smell like “outside”/wet dog and I couldn’t sleep with it at all for days, it may be bc of the humidity. (I sleep on top of my comforter with my weighted blanket so I don’t have to make my bed, i used to sleep under my covers in high school but my mom would always yell at me for making my bed too lazily so making my bed brings back bad memories) I asked her if we could take it to the laundromat instead and she said no so I’ve just been procrastinating Until my dad gets home so he can take me instead. I know for a fact that if I said that putting it outside made it smell worse she wouldn’t believe me. My mom also purchased a swiffer mop a while ago and she wanted me to put it together and mop my bathroom. But I feel too exhausted physically. I was scared because I knew I was going to get yelled at but I couldn’t push myself to do it because of my depression/low motivation and my physical fatigue. I laid down on my bed and closed the door because I’m not normally supposed to have my door closed so I thought that would lower my chances of getting yelled at because it might signal that something is wrong. I didn’t feel comfortable telling her I was tired because i thought that would have just made her angrier. When I was laying down she opened the door and started yelling saying why I hadn’t mopped the bathroom and put my blanket outside. I didn’t really answer she said “what’s wrong, you can’t mop your bathroom” really sarcastically and I said “not at this second” really quietly and she got angrier, she said I’ll put the blanket outside for you and I said “I don’t want you to” and she started screaming and trying to pull the blanket out from underneath me. I said she was acting stupid and she started screaming “YOU’RE STUPID, YOU’RE STUPID” at the top of her lungs, literally screaming in my face. She insulted me more and marched out saying “YOU MAKE ME SICK” and I said “good” quietly (idk why I said this) and she started yelling more but I don’t know what she said. I closed the door and did nothing for a while, I was shaking really badly. Then she came back in and told me to empty the dishwasher and empty the trash and she yelling at me slamming things angrily and I told her to stop yelling at me and she got angry but she eventually did. I don’t know why everyone hates me so much, I feel awful for being such a disappointment and a burden to everyone in my life. Are all parents like this?? They were way nicer to me before I started having mental health issues so I honestly feel like i brought this on myself

TL;DR: my parents have become increasingly hostile to me after I dropped out of college and developed depression. I believe this is the result of me disappointing them by not graduating, as well as them resenting the time, money, and stress my depression has caused them. They frequently yell at me over insignificant things. Is this normal for parents of young adults? Is there a way to remedy this?

Submitted June 16, 2022 at 03:47PM by anotherthrowaway5399 https://ift.tt/rK0FSoz