I found out I was the other woman

TL;DR: I found out I was the other woman. He thought we were both in relationships and cheating on our respective partners. He was wanting to continue our relationship until I found out he had a girlfriend.

I (28F) had recently reconnected with a previous partner (31M) who I had lost contact with. I will refer to him as Dave (not actual name) for this post. We had intimately seen each other for a few months before he went overseas for a year in 2018. We then lost contact after this. Fast forward to September 2021, and I received a friend request from Dave on my social media accounts. We started chatting and we both said we were “dating”. I was in a long term relationship at the time, and didn’t feel the need to ask for more details about his dating life. After that, Dave sent me a message and asked if he could kiss me, which I said no. In December 2021 my long term relationship ended amicably and naturally with my then partner, and was completely unrelated to Dave. After some time, I then started to respond back to Dave in a more intimate way, and the conversation escalated quickly into sexual content. We decided to meet up and we’re intimate with each other. Following this he continued to send me messages saying how much he missed me and thought about me. This continued for a few months. He was wanting to meet up for a weekend away, and at that point I was wanting more than a casual sexual relationship. I decided to tell him how I felt before we met up again. I wanted to know if he was seeing anyone else in a casual way, so I asked. He told me yes he was in a relationship and the other girl didn’t know about me. He said he thought I was in a relationship too. I told him that I hadn’t been in a relationship since December 2021. Dave had thought that we were both in our respective relationships, and we were both cheating on our partner together. He promptly blocked me on all social media after that and I haven’t heard from him since.

I was so shocked and upset by this. I couldn’t believe he thought I was that kind of person.

Dave seemed like such an honest, nice, and attentive guy. I never thought I would have to quiz him on something like this. His social media had no reference to a relationship. He was planning a weekend away with me, and regularly messaged me about how he was thinking of me. I never assumed he was in a relationship. I didn’t think I had to tell him a wasn’t in a relationship because cheating is not the norm, and I started a meaningful relationship with him. I had real feelings for him and was wanting to take it to the next level.

Did I completely misread this situation? Should I have told him straight away that I wasn’t in a relationship anymore?

Submitted June 17, 2022 at 09:15PM by ReflectionFront3336 https://ift.tt/3GEmopn