My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months now and a problem that we've had while we were still in the talking phase was over my past. The summer before college and during orientation week I admittedly was doing things that I regret a lot now. One issue that we keep fighting about is the fact that I gave a BJ to a guy I met at a party. Even though I explained to him that I usually never went past kissing and I only did it because I felt pressured to and it's really difficult for me to say no to guys in that situation (I was assaulted in high school and had an ex who only used me for sex), he will not get over it. He says that to him a BJ is something you only give to someone you're dating or someone you love and he can't understand why a random guy would get what he gets as my boyfriend.
I genuinely do not get where he comes from and his point of view honestly makes me feel really dirty. Even when I tell him that I regretted that happening he continues to tell me that he doesn't believe I won't do it again. I tried telling him that the person he's dating right now and the person who hooked up with that guy is completely different because I've grown a lot and my views on hookups/self-worth have changed a lot and all he had to say was that its the same mouth to him. He grew up more conservatively than I did but we started off as FWB so I thought we were on the same page.
If someone could maybe give me insight to how he's thinking or what I could say to him to get over this situation it would be really appreciated. We're probably breaking up because of this but regardless I still need some closure or rationalization of the way he's thinking because I am so stuck on it.
TL;DR: My boyfriend cannot get over a difference in views because I gave a BJ to a random hookup and he thinks that should be something only between couples. I would really like some insight to his thinking or what I could say to him to get over it.
Submitted June 19, 2022 at 11:57PM by Ok_Wishbone1947 https://ift.tt/C1YBbD4
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