My (26F) brother (34M) is mad because he thinks I ruined his friendship with his best friend (33M) when we got married and started a family.

My brother's best friend and I started dating five years ago (we've been married three of those five years) and at first my brother was happy and didn't care, actually he was the one who played cupid, but lately, ever since our second daughter was born, he's been acting so weird. It's like he hates our relationship all of a sudden.

Four days ago it was my (26F) husband's (33M) birthday and he decided to take a short family trip to celebrate it. So we celebrate it just him, our daughters (2F, 6F months old) and I, nobody else, and we thought nobody cared but my brother (34M) did. The night before my husband's birthday was over he texted me to let me know that I was "ruining" his relationship with his best friend, I told him I didn't know what he was talking about and he started saying that I stole his best friend and that now he doesn't even want to celebrate his birthday with him, that he doesn't go to boys' nights either and that it's all my fault because he spends all the time he could use with his friends with me and the girls, that it's like he doesn't have a life anymore. And that's not true, my husband prefers to stay home because he wants to, he only goes to boys' nights when he wants to, and that's because he doesn't feel comfortable with them like he used to. They're all single (including my brother) and living crazy lives, and my husband is on another page so he says that's why he doesn't like spending so much time with them, and I respect that, I can't force him to go if he doesn't want to.

I talked to my brother, I explained all that to him but he keeps saying it's my fault. That he wanted us to be together but he didn't expect me to "trap him" with a ring and kids so quickly. And hearing that hurt me because both of our daughters were totally planned, neither was an accident that happened because of someone.

My husband talked to him but he didn't understand, it's like he thinks I brainwashed him or something, and I don't know what else to do. They have been friends since kindergarten and the last thing I want is for their decades long relationship to be damaged because of me. So I want to try to make everything go back to the way it was before, if that's possible, but I don't know what to do, maybe I should invite him over to our house or something? Or maybe plan a boys trip? Or invite him to our next trip? I don't know, I'm willing to do anything to fix this

Just to clarify, my husband also had a really crazy life before he started dating me. I've known him forever and no one would have expected him to become a father and husband so I guess it's normal that everyone is shocked that he has this life now, because it's like everyone was sure that I would just be a phase and that he wouldn't change that life for me or any other woman, but he did and maybe that bothers my brother and his friends, I don't know.

Tl;dr "My brother accuses me of ruining his relationship with his best friend and he's mad at me and I'm afraid he'll hate me forever."

Submitted June 12, 2022 at 08:35PM by eddedd130 https://ift.tt/7In4Ckq