Is it wrong for me to complain to my fiancé about his poor hygiene? Causes me painful infections, but he gets upset when I bring it up

Hey guys,

So I’ve been having this ongoing issue with my partner for 3 years or so. He doesn’t keep up with himself whatsoever. But I’ve never complained about anything else besides his poor hygiene. Whenever I bring this up, he gets really irritated with me and would deny the fact that he’s unhygienic and that this is completely normal for men.

Let me list out some of the issues he has regarding poor hygiene:

1. He is a really sweaty person and tends to wear the same underwear/pajama pants for 3 showers back to back without changing to a fresh one.

2. He had issues with accumulating thick layers of smegma underneath his foreskin (he’s uncircumcised) and not even cleaning it when he showers. He would literally only rinse the outside of his foreskin, sometimes not cleaning it at all. This issue was fortunately fixed after a bad incident where he had so much accumulated smegma, I had a severe oral infection after giving him a BJ that prevented me from eating for weeks.

3. He isn’t bothered by the smell of his unclean dick and never sees an issue with it even though I’ve had multiple vaginal and oral infections from him over the years. One time I had a severe vaginal infection that spread to my knee caps and up to my belly button. Multiple times I have developed painful vaginal boils after having sex with him. I’ve also had severe gum inflammation multiple times after giving him a BJ, I had to be on antibiotics and couldn’t even shut my mouth.

4. We also had issues where he wouldn’t wash his beard, thank goodness that was somewhat solved. But basically I had many skin infections from kissing him. My face would blow up with large puss filled acne after brushing against his beard. One time I even took a sniff, which I never did before and realized just how much it actually smelled. I confronted him about it and that’s when he told me that he never washes it… like ever, up until I pointed it out.

My main issue with this whole problem right now is how inconsiderate he’s been. Maybe I’m asking for too much, but I’m currently suffering through a lot of pain from a recent vaginal boil. I told him straight up that he needs to stop being so sloppy and to please clean himself. Because he’s so dirty to the point where it’s causing me pain and giving me health problems. He gets upset at me whenever I comment on his hygiene. Just now, we had an argument over this. He’s denying that’s he’s being inconsiderate to me, I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to be more clean, I can’t even force him and I’ve been begging for years.

There’re honestly so many more issues that I wanted to list, but I didn’t want to make this post too long. I’ve been working around him for years, it’s driving me nuts. I honestly have a hard time telling if he really cares about me as much as he say he does. I’ve tolerated him for years because I love him, but this has been dragged on for too long…is what I’m asking really too much?

He’s my first partner, I’m probably being a doormat at this point…

TLDR: partner (20M) refuses to admit and change his poor hygiene habits. Has caused me vaginal and oral infections for the past 3 years. Am I wrong for asking him to stay clean?

Edit: everytime I try to talk about it, he blames me for getting infections. Then would proceed to wiggle and groan in bed, quite literally… he would get angry at me and argue how this is normal for men and etc.

Submitted June 11, 2022 at 11:42PM by Sweetmomo123 https://ift.tt/HAgrmVt