To preface, my SO (32M) and I (34F) have been together for 3 years. We live together along with his son (12M).
I had planned to take SO and his son to lunch at a restaurant that SO has been talking about for months. Son didn't want to come. We make the drive and the place was closed for Father's Day. I did not have a back up plan and SO offered no solutions. Which, I guess is my fault. We went back home and I prepared dinner with SO, my dad, and sister. After dinner, we all went out for dessert. Everything was fine. Until this morning. SO went off on me. He was upset that we didn't spend anytime together. He was upset that my sister and dad joined us for dessert. And upset that my sister and I have a family vacation planned for later this summer (it got brought up during dinner; my family and her family, we have been doing this for years). He says I don't prioritize him or his needs and that I don't open up as much as he does.
I told him I was sorry that Father's Day didn't go as planned but I had no control over the restaurant. I also told him that I had a trip planned for us a few weeks earlier. However, I am currently the only one working, so splurging on restaurants and souvenirs wasn't an option for this trip, to which he said he would rather not go because he doesn't want to go on vacation and eat ham sandwiches the whole time or have to tell his child that they couldn't get souvenirs. I also told him that I've tried over and over to get him to plan things with me but he says his plate is always full and he doesn't like to plan things.
The argument got really ugly and he brought up issues we have had in the past. For example, 2 years ago I begged him to take a trip somewhere, he declined because of his depression and ultimately snapped and told me to plan a trip with my friends so I did. He also brought up how I take trips without him with friends/family and it isn't fair that he gets "left behind" while I go and "live my best life".
I'm just frustrated. I hate to throw 3 years down the drain, but this situation isn't improving. It doesn't seem fair that he is guilting me with my previous travels when I have tried and tried to get him to plan something with me. It feels like anything I do is a problem for him and I don't understand why.
TLDR; SO isn't happy that Father's Day didn't go as planned and big fight ensues.
ETA: I got him 3 gifts; a nice gift, a house gift, and a small gift.
Submitted June 20, 2022 at 02:02PM by throw_away_1369 https://ift.tt/QAL5nVj
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