I’ve been dating him for a few years, and every time we go out to our regular bar he will want to have his arm round me all night, kiss me, and constantly slap my butt to the beat of the music. All of this makes me extremely overwhelmed, especially when I’m trying to talk to friends. I find it worse when he slaps my butt, it makes me feel panicky because I feel like everyone is watching me. On top of it all, I seriously hate PDA. I’ve tried to compromise and say I don’t mind you having your arm around me but just not all night. But he always just ignores it, and gets embarrassingly worse when he’s drunk. An example was a the other week I was out with my best friend and her partner, and they were just chill and having a conversation. But my boyfriend completely isolated me and kept both arms round me slapping my butt all night, and got emotional every time I tried to say stop. I told him instead to make a conversation with me. He didn’t know what to talk about and said “there’s nothing to talk about life’s just fucking shit” and carried on cuddling me.
Last night was the worse of it, I met him at the bar when he was already tipsy after I was out with some friends. I can’t remember what I did when he walked in, but he seems to think he hugged me and I pulled a face. I’m sure I was pulling a face because someone just took my photo and I didn’t like it. But rather than just ask me there and then, he created 5 different stories of what happened. He said I made him feel really shit, and I do feel bad about that. We also got into a bit of an argument because I pulled away from him because he was trying to be all over me when we were playing cards with friends, and I felt fucking suffocated. Then he got more drunk and started speaking like a caveman, he kept repeating “you’re supposed to be MY girlfriend and I want you here”. Then when I said I don’t exactly want to cuddle in the middle of the bar when you’re talking to me like that, he just shouted “YOU, HERE” and poked me and pulled me over by my neck. Then he kept on about how he should be slapping my butt too, I said I don’t like it though I’ve told you multiple times and he said “I’m going to do it whether you like it or not”.
Our relationship has been a bit sour for a few weeks because I just feel he constantly ignores my boundaries, there was one night where he actually understood and seemed like he was going to make a change but here we are. Maybe we’re just not a good match, he needs physical affection and I can’t give it to him as much as he wants. I hate it worse around friends too because it makes everyone feel awkward and it gets to the point where nobody sees me as an individual. I don’t know what to do here, I do love him and don’t like hurting him. But I feel like I’ve given many options to compromise, and there’s only so far I can go where I don’t feel uncomfortable. However, he doesn’t seem to want to compromise unless he’s getting what he wants.
TL;DR My boyfriend loves physical affection and PDA, I don’t as much. I’ve tried to compromise but he still isn’t happy and I don’t know where to go from here.
Submitted June 16, 2022 at 03:24AM by throwaway_52742 https://ift.tt/OVH5Rxb
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