Hello all. Just posting slightly to vent, but also to get advice, and see if anyone else can empathise or been in a similar situation.
So I (47f) have been officially single for over 8 years, and before that it was mostly a succession of casual relationships, that either fizzled out, or didn't become serious for various reasons. Examples are, they wanted children and I didn't, they just didn't see me as girlfriend material, or one interesting one, he was a furry and wanted to give up his job and be my permanent dog, which well good luck to him, but wasn't the kind of relationship I had any interest in.
The last time I was in a serious relationship, living with him, finished when I was 26. I used to think there was something seriously wrong with me, that no one would ever love me, that I was totally unlovable. I went to counselling, and they made me see that sometimes some people, no matter how lovely they are, just never find love. So I have accepted and resigned myself to that, and 8 years ago I gave up even attempting to date or find anyone.
I have hobbies and lots of friends, and enjoy my life. So there isn't anything missing generally, but I still do miss, and probably always will miss, the closeness and intimacy of being with someone, not to mention missing kissing and all that fun stuff.
Anyway, so on to my main problem. A few months ago I got a new neighbour, (27m)
When he first moved in, I did notice that he was absolutely gorgeous, physically exactly the type I have always gone for. I have dated a range of ages, from a lot older to a lot younger but not this much younger.
First of all it was just friendly chats in passing, he seemed really nice and friendly, and I was happy to have a new person to say hello to occasionally.
Then a few weeks ago we got to chatting and we didn't stop for about two hours. Just standing in the garden and talking. We then both said we were amazed at how well we get on and we should hang out more often. Since then we have hung out regularly, at least once or twice a week. He is just so lovely, a really good person, like I didn't even have one second hesitation about going into his place to hang out even though I didn't know him. Not one bad vibe about him at all.
We have spent a lot of time together now and get on so well. We can talk about anything, and he keeps telling me how much he likes spending time with me. So because I have been single for so long, I am now developing a real crush on him, and liking him more and more. But I really need to get over that as he is so much younger than me and it would never work. Normally in this kind of situation, I would probably just tell them I like them, and if they don't like me back I move on, and remove myself from any contact with them. But because he is my neighbour, I can't remove myself. I'll still see him regularly. And I can't tell him, because if he doesn't fancy me back, I don't want to be a horrible predatory older woman, making him uncomfortable in his own home.
So please does anyone have any advice, or help, or been in a similar situation that they can help me get over this crush without having to avoid him completely?
TL;DR I have a crush on my younger neighbour, which obviously is not at all appropriate, does anyone have any advice, or different perspective to help me get over it?
Submitted April 06, 2021 at 10:59AM by smowgli123 https://ift.tt/3fNEWLR
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