We have been married for almost 3 years. I will preface by saying my husband is not an alcoholic or a mean drunk but he was definitely drunk during this event after a golfing for a friends birthday.
We recently purchased a home in a new community. There are ~40 homes, in the shape of an upside down “U”. We are first time home buyers. The homes were done in phases and we were phase 3. So basically the entire right side of the U and the very top of it are all occupied. The left side is vacant and we were the first in our phase to move in.
On our move-in day I park on the street as a moving truck was in our driveway. The neighbor leaves a note on my car reminding us that HOA states that 2 cars have to be in the garage before we can use the driveway or the street, because she “cannot pull her car out of the driveway when we park on the street adjacent to her house”. I would note the curb is not painted red nor is our street narrow. We also have been here less than a day, there is a moving truck and boxes in both those places, but ok. I wish they would have just approached me as I find notes to always be passive aggressive but I move on. As our neighbors start to move in, there is usually a car parked there because they are all in similar situations. They all get the note. The funny thing is, the neighbor regularly parks there herself, totally ignoring HOA. They are also not particularly friendly- most of the neighborhood is very sweet and welcoming and they are not interested in meeting anyone and are cold.
My husband was, and is, so. angry. about this note. Every time a new note appears on someone’s car he gets angry again. Or every time he sees her parked in the same spot she gets mad at others for parking. Our old neighborhood had a lot of really uppity old women who would constantly do things like that and it drove him nuts. So it was frustrating to receive the same welcoming here, I get it. The fact that they are not friendly doesn’t help. While I agree the note was uncalled for and it sucks they’re not nice, I cannot stress how much I don’t want to start shit with the neighbors. This is not a temporary situation- we bought this house, they bought theirs, I do not want to get into it with someone I am stuck living near.
So today he came home from golf, drunk, and extremely angry because that same neighbor has decided to park her car in the same spot she leaves notes, again. But today he wrote a bitchy note and was going to leave it when I asked him not to. I explained that I do not want to get into it with a neighbor. He dropped it but instead storms outside. He’s out there for a few minutes when I go see what he’s up to. I see the neighbors in question outside as well and get anxious because I really, really hope he doesn’t say anything while he’s out there. I tell him I need help with something inside and he lingers staring at them but comes in. You can tell he is just stopping himself from approaching them. They give a quizzical “Hello?” He is literally buzzing with anger he is so worked up. Inside I ask him to please stop and say that he looks like he’s going to snap over something insignificant. To this he gets extremely upset that I am “policing him”. Goes upstairs, slams doors, etc. He seems disproportionately angry over this- not just the parking situation but the fact that I asked him not to escalate this. Any advice would help.
TL;DR husband is mad at neighbor over parking situation and wants to escalate, I do not. We are at odds.
Submitted July 17, 2020 at 08:29PM by anonhelp092736262 https://ift.tt/3hhLGz7
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