I (27F) found a comment on my father's (55M) social media page that made me suspicious of his relationship with a coworker. Should I tell my mom (54F)?

First time posting, I am really at a loss and don't have many people I can discuss this with in real life. I am obscuring some details because I'm not sure who reads this sub.

Let me preface by saying I am not super close with my dad - he has a challenging personality and I do not like the way he treats my mom, his wife of 25+ years. My dad works in an industry that involves a LOT of travel and time away from home, often to glamorous locations. This industry is notorious for spouses cheating on their partners, coworkers partying together when overseas, etc. My dad is a little more introverted and tends to do more sightseeing instead of clubbing, so I never really grouped him in that category. My parents had a better relationship while I was growing up, but over the last 10 years he has become more critical of my mom, particularly in regards to her weight. He is very athletic. She is in good shape and works out often, and is at the most 10-15 pounds "overweight," but she basically is just a bit on the curvy side. She is beautiful, takes good care of herself, and is often complimented when we are out together. He often checks out younger women or is extra-friendly to young, pretty waitresses in front of all of us, which is gross.

A few years ago he abruptly decided to divorce her, saying they had just grown apart. He insisted there was no one else in the picture but that his mind was made up. She was devastated and blindsided. Family and friends encouraged him to give it another shot, they did some counseling, and they are still together - they do seem happier but like I said, he is still critical and rude to her sometimes. I am very close with my mom.

Today I was scrolling through Instagram and he had posted a picture that I complimented (it was perfectly innocent, think like a dog or a sunset). I noticed another woman had commented, and I was surprised because in her profile photo she looked a LOT like my mom. I will call this woman "Karen." I clicked on her page and she had a very similar face to my mom but had like a bodybuilder physique. First I thought she was an Instagram model, but I quickly realized after scrolling through her feed she was actually a coworker of my dad. I got curious and looked at more of her posts, and he had liked every single post going back at least a couple years. Karen posted a full-body selfie in some tiny workout clothes a few weeks ago, and my dad had commented a series of emojis (like the 'punch' emoji, the clapping one, etc) followed by SEVERAL heart-eye emojis.

I felt a pit in my stomach immediately. My dad is very tech-literate and spends a lot of time on Instagram. He is not an idiot and I have not seen him use that emoji for anyone else. In addition, I went back on his Instagram and noticed she had liked all of his pictures for a couple years too, and had commented on probably 80% of them (innocent comments or compliments). I also realized that although he often posts pictures of my mom on his Facebook page (where he is not friends with Karen), he has just one blurry photo of my mom on his instagram and it was from over a year ago.

I am having a hard time separating my feelings from logic. I am already on edge against him because of how he treats my mom, and I am kind of hyper-sensitive towards married people who carry on affairs and act inappropriately towards others. If Karen was just someone he didn't know in real life, I wouldn't bother to bring it up, but the fact that this is a coworker of his who is his 'type' makes this more serious in my book. I am happily married and my husband would never comment on another woman's picture like that, and if he did, I would be very upset but would want to know. The way I see it, I have three choices:

1. Mention something to my mom and suggest she have a talk with my dad about boundaries if it is indeed something that makes her feel uncomfortable. I would not flat-out accuse him of cheating or anything, but I would say it rubbed me the wrong way and I thought she should be aware.
2. Message my dad privately, make him aware that I saw it and thought it was disrespectful and suspicious. I am not a massive fan of this option because I kind of feel like my mom should know, but it would give him the benefit of the doubt.
3. Say nothing.

I really need help. I am leaning towards option #1, but I am clouded by my own feelings and just not sure what to do. If I am being crazy or reading way too much into things, please tell me, I fully accept that is a possibility.

TL;dr My dad commented heart-eyes on a picture of his coworker "Karen," a woman who looks like his ideal 'type.' He works in an industry with rampant cheating and hooking up between coworkers and is critical of my mom's looks. I am unsure whether to mention this to my mom, my dad, or neither.

Submitted July 20, 2020 at 01:03PM by ThrowRAinstacomment https://ift.tt/3fORWOh