I’m honestly not sure how to feel about this situation anymore so I thought I would ask Reddit. Apologies as I’m posting from mobile.
I [23F] started dating my boyfriend [21M] two years ago. Last year I had the opportunity to go on a study abroad trip, and I took it. We were already long distance due to different colleges but we saw each other on occasional weekends.
When I brought up that I was going on the study abroad trip he started showing me engagement rings. I was confused because we’d only been dating a year, and it seemed to come out of nowhere. I said I didn’t need a ring, most that he showed me were really expensive. He told me he felt it was an investment in our relationship and showed me the expensive ring he’d bought with his family’s help.
I get back from my trip and mention it again, and that I was uncomfortable with it. He then told me he’d lied about the ring because he was worried I’d find someone else in Europe. I was upset. Not about the ring; because I’d never wanted one anyway and felt it too premature in our relationship. But because I’d been lied to.
Fast forward a few months and he apologizes again about the ring situation and tells me that he had actually bought one now. I think he thought I was upset the ring didn’t exist even though I made it clear I didn’t want a ring — I was upset he’d felt the need to lie to me. We aren’t planning on getting engaged any time soon, so it’s become a non-topic.
Last night we had an argument and I brought up that I was unhappy in the relationship again because if he would lie about something like that, I don’t know what else he would feel the need to lie about. I feel like I’m being strung along and he thinks I’m a superficial person only around because of the promise of a ring when I’ve never been interested in a ring or brought it up in the first place. He confessed he’d lied again about having a ring, but had since bought a ring with fake gems.
Am I wrong for being upset that he keeps lying about this? Or is it irrational since I don’t care about the ring anyway — and I’m not even planning on being engaged any time soon? It’s just hard for me to picture a future for is together when I keep feeling like I’m being strung along. Really if none of this had ever come up in the first place I think we’d be fine. It’s an unusual situation I know.
TL;DR BF lies about the existence of an engagement ring repeatedly despite us not being engaged or having plans to, and I wonder if I have a right to be upset at the lies.
Submitted February 29, 2020 at 02:01PM by Logical-Classroom https://ift.tt/2vvMaiB
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