I’m 21m. I’ve been in two relationships before her. In both, I was treated quite poorly and not valued at all. Mutual friends have confirmed that they were the problematic ones. Still, their behavior caused me to become extremely dependent on receiving any sort of positive attention from them, which ironically made me more attached to them. I was really infatuated with both of them despite how toxic the relationships became. I would wait days for them to text me but get no response. Both were long distance and they would go weeks without calling me on the phone. When they finally would, it was exhilarating and made me so happy. I would think about them non-stop and constantly seek out ways to make them show interest in me. Eventually those relationships ended.
Now I’m in a new relationship of a few months. The girl pursued me first and shows me a healthy level of adoration without being over the top. She has everything I’m looking for: she’s smart, has similar interests, has the right personality to complement mine, we get along really well together and have good sexual chemistry. However, I don’t feel the same level of infatuation for her as I did for the others. I am very happy with her, but I do not obsess over her. I recognize her faults and I’m okay with them. This made me worried at first that I shouldn’t be with her, but I think it’s okay to not wear rose colored glasses. Should I be worried? It’s healthy for me to not be thinking about my partner 24/7 and worrying whether or not they love me. She can go a day without texting me, and I know it’s because she’s busy—not because she is trying to manipulate me or just doesn’t care. I can live my own life and be very very happy when we are together. I think about her a lot, but it’s alway very fond and never extreme like with the others. I always express to her how much I like her and how happy she makes me.
It’s kinda like if all I did was drink extremely sugary things, similar to the toxic infatuating relationships. They feel really good but are very unhealthy. After that, of course a healthy relationship won’t feel as viscerally strong, but it will feel right. That’s the way I feel in my current relationship. Has anyone else experience something similar or able to offer any thoughts?
TLDR: not extremely infatuated with my girlfriend like I’ve been in previous toxic relationships. This worries me a little bit but I think it’s a sign our relationship is healthy. Does anyone have thoughts?
Submitted July 02, 2021 at 10:23PM by Any_Bee7310 https://ift.tt/3xlTOqM
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