My partner has told me she plans on ending our relationship, but still wants to act like we’re in one until then.

Hey Reddit, this is my first post so be easy on me. My partner (20F) and I (20M) have been together for two years, and have been living together since the beginning. Our relationship is really rocky because we’re both still developing as people, so there have been lots of bad fights and deep pain inflicted on one another. Despite this, I still love her and I think that for the most part she still loves me.

About a month or two ago she expressed that after our lease ends she didn’t want to live with me anymore, and that she’s essentially looking to create some space between us so that she can heal. It was hard to hear, but I understand that this would be necessary for her to gain some of the independence and confidence necessary to grow, plus I’m not a very developed guy either and I definitely need to get myself together. However, since then every conversation we’ve had about it she’s been talking about more and more space, until inevitably she expressed that she didn’t even want a romantic relationship between us, saying things about how it’s possible that she’d explore with other people, that this is necessary for the both of us, and that she doesn’t want to “be” anybody’s .

This broke me down, because we’ve been through so much together and I essentially feel like I’ve been friend zoned, but this isn’t even the worst of it. For one, we still LIVE together and will for at least a few more months, and beyond that, she still wants us to act and do things that a romantic couple would, like sleep in the same bed, be affectionate, have dinners together, go out, and etc. Its as if she doesn’t understand the finality of what she’s said and it seems like she’s giving me false hope and leading me on because she can’t make up her mind, even going as far to say things like “I could come back to you after a while”.

I’ve expressed this feeling to her, but to her it means more that we’re breaking up LATER, so I shouldn’t be withdrawing now, which is easy for her to say because she’s not the one being let go of. I just don’t understand how I’m supposed to act semi-normal knowing that our relationship has an expiration date, I’m torn between just going through the motions till she leaves or making the arrangements to leave now and try to get some closure. I still love her very much and wish she would change her mind, but I’m in a lot of pain, I feel so unwanted, and it’s humiliating to know that the only reason I get to see her is because of a lease. She isn’t mean or hurting me on purpose, but she definitely isn’t wanting to see how unfair this is for me. What should I do? Should I accept that we’re done and do as much as possible to separate now, or should I make the most of my time with her knowing that I’m expendable?If you’ve read this far, thank you and I hope you can offer some advice.

Tl:dr My girlfriend is planning on leaving me in the near future, but doesn’t want to completely break up with me just yet, instead just keeping me in a weird limbo between still together and not. She wants to keep doing relationship things, but those hurt me a lot because I know that it’s temporary and she doesn’t really want me.

Submitted February 21, 2021 at 03:49PM by kingwalrus3 https://ift.tt/3aIe39c