Looking back, I probably should’ve seen this coming.
My dad and his are best friends, we’ve known each other our whole lives but we only dated for 6 months before getting married. His dad was incredibly unwell at the time, so I should’ve made the connection, but I’d had a huge crush on my husband for the longest time, so I was on cloud 9 when he proposed. It’s been 3 years, and this hasn’t been the marriage I thought we would have.
My husband has kept me at a distance our entire marriage. He worked our entire honeymoon but kept arranging amazing activities for me to do alone. I thought he was doing it because he was apologetic he had to work, but now I realise he was distracting me like a small child so I wouldn’t question things and realise he was making the choice to work. He doesn’t include me in his life. I’ve never met the majority of his friends despite the fact that he used to meet up with them at least once a month and it was his idea to keep our wedding very small. His family have a lot of friends and colleagues, they’ve never had a small wedding before, so everyone was shocked when he was adamant that he wanted to keep things to just family. I don’t think he knows anything about me above surface level stuff, even though we’ve lived together for 3 years.
I know most people who are reading this are probably thinking “just divorce him” and I would if things weren’t more complicated than that. I’m 6 months pregnant with our first child and his dad’s health is still fragile. I don’t want to hurt either of our families or cause any stress for his dad, and a divorce would devastate everyone.
I wish he had never told me but ever since my pregnancy, I have been a lot more argumentative and my hormones have been all over the place. We’ve been arguing, well I rant, and he listens a lot. A few weeks ago, in the middle of the argument, he admitted he only married me because he knew it would make his dad happy and that his family had always been hinting that he should ask me out. I moved into a guest room but that just made him unhappy and he told me to move back into our room and he would stay in another room. Ever since he seems to be trying to make more of an effort and he claims he wants to work on things. I still love him, but I think I don’t trust him anymore. I spend most of the day outside of the house and try to avoid him as much as possible but he's suddenly always there.
I can’t talk about this to my family so I’ve only told my best friend who already dislikes my husband, so her first suggestion was divorce and her second was to enjoy watching him grovel and then divorce when he thinks things are great. Right now, I would prefer to avoid a divorce. I just can’t do it to either of our families with everything else going on.
I need advice on if this is something we can work on and if it is worth me giving him a chance, and if not, how do I minimize the damage and hurt a divorce will cause our families?
TL;DR – My husband admitted he only married me because he thought it would make his sick dad happy. Our dads are best friends and our families have been close my entire life. My husband wants to work on things but I don’t know what to do. I’m pregnant and his dad’s health is still fragile so I don’t want to divorce him yet but I don’t know how to get past this either.
Submitted February 25, 2021 at 12:06PM by ThrowRAlovesickfool https://ift.tt/2ZP8wHA
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